"You will seek me and find me , when you seek me with ALL of your heart" Jeremiah 29:11
This weekend Mason and I went on a great float trip with some friends, we had a wonderful time. Floating down the river looking up at the trees and all God's creation was amazing. Today when I opened up my "Jesus Calling " book it read about his love call to us, he talks about the birds and how they call to one another, in the same way he calls to us, it may be through the birds or even through a thought or a sound. I loved the sound of all the bugs at night, it made me feel at peace.
He also says there is no limit to the way he may communicate to us, but one thing I know for sure, you have to be listening and giving the time to him so he can speak to you. Mason sometimes talks non stop and Jamie and I will have to tell him to be quiet so he can hear what we are saying, I feel the Lord sometimes saying that. We tell him over and over, Lord have all of me, the answer is yes, now what is the question?, but really are we or are we so wrapped up in our earthly lives that we forget to daily seek him and follow his voice, believe me he is interested in even what your choice for supper is, you did remember to invite him, didn't you?
He says that when the birds are calling you can find him, but also in hard times like grief too. He takes the torn tavern tapestry of our lives and makes this beautiful pattern for nothing but good.
Last night I was happy when Mason was praying and remembered to pray for court today, he ask "and dear Lord, please let us keep Peanut forever, she is the best sister"
as well as I liked the prayer and for sure agreed with him, I worried as I always do the night before court, I did pray that her mom would have the same heart and she did last time we met, but I also worried and satan knew that I was unsettled about it, so he chose to attack me. Now there have been times I have felt him near and I have had to command him to leave in the name of my savior Jesus Christ, but he attacked me in my sleep. As I was drifting off to sleep I felt sick, like feverish, I was freezing and I could not get comfortable, I tossed and turned and had felt kinda like I was coming down with the flu. I tried to convince myself I was just dehydrated from a long trip, or maybe just tired from not sleeping well, the thought even came to me that maybe I even got something from being on that trip. It was crazy and I finally drifted off to sleep, which was BAD. I have never been more terrified in all my life when I awoke. I know I was dreaming, but it felt so real. Satan was attacking me and I could not get away from him, with all my heart I was trying to say "In the name of Jesus Christ, the man that shed his blood on the cross for my sins, I command you to flee!!!!", but I could not, I could not speak, I could not get it out, I was terrified that I was stuck with him attacking me. Oh my gosh telling you makes my heart speed up, when I awoke my clothes were soaked from sweat, I of course could not go back to sleep , I was even too terrified to move. I prayed over and over for God to come cover me with peace, which I did get, but it took awhile for me to calm down. This was much worse than any panic attack I have ever had. I say all this because Satan can attack you at any moment, I had a friend once ask if I really believed that satan could interfere with a job opportunity, the answer is YES!! Did I mention that when I woke up today I was hoarse? My voice has returned a small bit, but you know when you have lost your voice and it hurts to talk ?, I have that now.
I woke up feeling tired and not well, I forced myself to eat something and began to get ready for court. I read my Jesus calling book, looked up some scripture and jumped in the shower. I still did not feel at peace. So while Jamie was getting ready I just met the Lord in my kitchen, I was crying asking him for some peace that I knew that could only come from him, I listen to the song that Jamie's cousin Heather posted, it gave me some relief. While we traveled to pick up my mom I felt still, just kinda ill. I wanted to go to court refreshed and ready, but I was lacking some confidence. Once my mom got in the car Mason began to talk all about his great time on our float trip and the tension eased. I finally felt safe and found joy in the stories Mason was telling, by the time we arrived I felt almost normal, except my tired voice box.
My mom sat in the play area with the kids while Jamie and I headed into the court room, Jamie and I laughed as we could never work there, it's old and smells funny, the lighting is enough to give you a migraine. We sat down in the back of the court room like always and Peanuts mom caught my eye as I was walking in, I grinned at her the best I could , knowing what I was pretty sure her future held this day. She smiled back a half grin and the judge then called her to the stand. I could not see her mom, for there was a lawyer in the way, but she answered all the questioned they asked her and there was one I won't forget. They said ( I'm going to use Sarah as her name) Sarah- "do you agree that the best interest for your daughter is to live with the foster family?", she said "you mean Jamie and Shelley?, as she peeked past the lawyers head to make eye contact with us, almost in a way of , of course I know them and she does not call us "the foster family", but by first names. She then agreed that she wanted her daughter to live with us and allow us to adopt her baby girl. The judge by law has to tell Sarah, that if something were to happen to us and that we could not follow through with the adoption that she would still be adopted out and she would not get her rights back, Sarah looked at the judge and said, I want them to have her, no body else. The judge said, I understand what you are saying, but do you understand that sometimes things happen and that she could possibly go somewhere else?, she was not ok with it, but knew she could not keep her no matter what. The judge did tell her the interest of the court was for us to get to adopt her, but......
She then agreed to sign over her rights on the court document right then and there. Then we were scared that Peanuts half brother's dad may come into play, but it did not, they dismissed him from the case and will not be considered as a adoptive resource.
The judge dismissed Sarah from the stand and as she began to sit back down I could hear her begin to cry, she knew what she had done and as much as it hurt she was doing the right thing.
Court was dismissed and all parties began to exit the court room. I walked over to Sarah who was still weeping and I touched her back, she reached her arms out for a hug, wrapped around me as if I was the only thing holding her up I told her that I was so proud of her and she whispered in my ear"please don't let them take her from you" I told her that we would do all that was in our power to fight for her, that I did not think she had anything to worry about, that all was going in a good direction and not to worry. I told her to take care of herself and to get clean. (She has been clean for 7 days today)
We said our good byes and I headed to the restroom, as I was trying to pull it together I heard the door open and also hear someone crying, when I opened the bathroom door, it was Peanuts mom, we talked for a moment, while we sniffled and wiped eyes over and over. As I reached for the door to leave, she asked if I would do her one favor?, I said" sure" she said " will you tell her I love her?", I smiled and said "always"
Her mom is now done with court dates and we will not see her anymore, we are now just waiting for some more court dates to come and go , we are not sure the time frame of this. We will for sure keep you up to date on what happens so you can all join in this celebration when we finally can call her a McCain!!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
I'am not reposting this to bring back memories, even though it did, but even as a few tears fell as I remembered this time,I'm so thankful for where we are today and were God has us going. I'm reposting this for you to remember the story of "winter" the dolphin I met while we were in FL, the one that I was glad I was wearing my sunglasses, cuz as the man told me her story I cried, well guess what??? They have made a movie about winter and it is coming out soon,isn't t that cool?, so blessed to have met this animal that made an impact on my life. Can't wait til it comes out!!!
But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps" 1 peter 2:20-21
Where do I begin, how do I fit all I have learned in a blog, I need a editor to put this into a book.
So I'll start with last Friday. We got the call that for sure Ariel was going to take the baby back, so I called Kay and asked if I could come say goodbye, she said "of course", after I hung up the phone Mason's school called they said he was in the nurses office crying, something about hitting his head (which he never did) I told the nurse that even though we had not sat down with him and told him that he would not be getting that little sister just yet, he still knew that we had been distant with him and he had seen mommy and daddy upset. I went and picked him up from school and together we went to see the baby. Jamie called and was heading to the gym, by now he had shut down, he did not want to say goodbye, to hard for him. I told him that we needed to get out of town, I checked airfares and found nothing. I looked at going to the Omaha zoo or to st.Louis for a long weekend, forecast to both....rain :( We would talk about it later when we both were home.
Mason and I got to Kay's and I got to snuggle on the baby for 2 hours, tell her that we loved her and that God would look after her. A lighthouse worker showed up and her eyes began to fill with tears, I told her she had to stop or mine would start flowing again, see we all know what life would be better for this little girl, but God has given us free will, so there fore we don't always make the best choices for ourselves. All we can do is pray.
We said our goodbyes and Mason and I started home. We had many phone calls and many I ignored (sorry) it is just to hard to re say over and over, I know that because of those calls you were just calling to say sorry and that really makes us feel loved, but on that day, really I wanted to crawl under a rock. My next two weeks were planned, sitting at home with my new daughter and having 2 baby showers to look forward too, clothes to be picked up at the cleaners for court the next day, everything was just like a train running over my heart. I pleaded with God, why would you cause us so much pain?? This hurts to much to bare, God had taken me to the edge that day and I did not know at the time weather to jump off the edge or fall back into his arms to catch me, see at the time, I wanted to jump.
As I was driving home my cell rang. It was a great friend on the other end, all she said was "how are you?" I said well it's been tough, just trying to put one foot in front of the other. she said ok, I told her that Jamie,Mason and I were going to meet at home pack a bag and get out of town, I also shared with her how it was rain everywhere we wanted to go, so we had not made a destination yet. She asked if she could call me back, and she did. On the line was her, me and her travel agent. She told the agent that she needed to get a trip booked for 3 to any place sunny.
The lady replied with "sounds great, when are we leaving?" umm today....lol
She probably thought we were nuts, but she did it, she put us on hold and began to work her magic (which was God working his) she came back and said "how about Florida?, Tampa area.
My friend said " well Shelley??" I said, looks like we are going to Florida. I ran into Mason's room and said "pack a swim suit we are going to the beach."
My friend then said I need a hotel too, right on the ocean, the travel agent had to pull some strings to get this one, it was the end of spring break in FL and most were booked,but she got us one, the Hilton. My friend then said charge this to my account and said Shelley I love you and will be praying for you, now go pack.
So we did, when I told Jamie we were leaving, he walked around in a zone for about 10 minutes with, ok, what do I do?. I had to coach him, shoes, sunscreen, underwear....
So we called my folks and they took us to the airport. We landed in FL about midnight on Friday, we went and rented a car and was on our way.
But, I saw a cute little African American girl, maybe 2. She was standing there with her mom and I immediately thought of what I thought was our little girl. I began to pray for her.
We made it to the hotel and crashed for the night.
That next morning I went out on our deck, which was on the ocean side, got my book by Sheila Walsh, told God he had to speak to me today and tell me, why us???
The next chapter in my book was "when we trust in what we cannot see" , I looked up said thank you and began to read.
I felt him there, saying "Im using you and I have pushed you to the edge, but I have offered a path for you to take, it won't be the easy one, but it's the one I know you'll choose, good and faithful servant.
I will take the hard road for you Lord I said, because you took the hard one for me.
When Mason and Jamie were awake we sun screened up grab some breakfast and hit the beach.
To get to the beach, we had to take a elevator down 3 flights and walk 100 feet, it was tough :)
We rented 2 chairs and Mason a boogie board,which I tried myself and found myself having child like fun with it.
I went with Mason while Jamie sat back and watched, we played in the sand,swam in the ocean, found seashells and buried each other in the sand. Jamie then offered to go play with Mason and I went back to my book. Next chapter "When we are changed by the faithfulness of others"
Sheila Walsh herself is a women to has changed others lives by telling her story, she suffers with depression and talks about it openly with women, telling them that it's ok to have to take her little blue pill everyday, God does not mind. but I also felt God telling me, that the crowd that Jamie and I have around us are watching, on lookers seeing what we may do in this situation we are in,
well here we are, still knowing that God's plan is better for us than we know.
The next chapter "when God seems so far away", yes I felt this on Thursday and Friday, I already shared with you how I was pleading with God where was he and why is he doing this to us?, I did not think I could handle this much.
See it makes me think of the day that Jesus took Journie from my arms to his. I thought that was a hard day,but for some reason I was so comforted by him that day, his presence was so close, and I knew that Journie was going to a home where she would be safe in his arms forever. I could not let go of the fact that, this baby was not going somewhere better, she would not have the life we could have gave her, I still do not know the answers to these questions and I may never know them.
I could not put my book down, I needed another word from him to live on the rest of the day, chapter 13, "when we share the heart of the Shepard " yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil" well folks good news to that verse. To have a shadow you must have light around it, so I'm living on the light around it, I have to focus here to stay and live, til I have another moment to come read again.
We enjoyed our time at the beach,went back to the room and shared between Jamie and I who had the worst burn :) Mason of course, was just black and I was jealous :)
We went and had a great dinner outside the beach at a place called Frenchy's rock away grill, Mason ate his weight in peel n' eat shrimp, I had a grouper sandwich and Jamie a blacken chicken sandwich, it was great. We stopped on the walk back to the hotel and bought a huge cookie and sat outside and ate it, Mason ate more than half, only because I was not fast enough to get to it. We walked and just enjoyed one another.
Over the few days, I would sit at the pool watch the children play, thank God for sunglasses, for at moments I would cry because I was thankful for the friend I have who sent us here to heal, at times I cried knowing that I really could fall back and he will catch me, at times I cried because I would wonder how different my life would be if I was at home with my daughter and not here in Fl., Lots of stuff to work out and go through, but he worked it all out for his good, it always does.
So, we continued to have a great time in FL, we went and saw a aquarium where they rescued hurt sea animals, one dolphin named winter was amazing, she was 3 months old and her tail got tangled in a fisherman's net, this facility took her in and watched after her, her tail was so damaged by the net that it began to fall off, she learned to swim like a fish in a back and forth motion not up and down like a traditional dolphin would swim. I got into a conversation with a man that worked there, who knew I must have been inspired by her story, not many folks were around and he let me go behind the ropes and look at her, her trainer was with her and she was working on strengthening her spine, a man who owned a prosthetic company made Winter a fake tail, it was made with fiber glass and silicon, this piece slipped onto her tail and she could then swim in a dolphin like swim, they say she wears it a couple hours a day to keep her spine strong, other wise she just swims like a fish, even him talking to me I was a little teary, he said" you know, just like any of us, when we are faced with a challenge in life, we can give up or we can become stronger." WOW, did he know I needed to hear that, thank you Lord for using a dolphin to get through this day. We had many things that God showed us and if I was not searching for him, I may have just missed them,
See friends..... it's what I don't want to miss that keeps us going, I don't want to miss God's blessing and therefore I don't want anything that's not God's will for us. I know that his timing is still perfect and I do not know that timing, it's not easy either, I have a closet full of little girl clothes that I'm dying to put on my little girl, so will I be patient? Yes, will I stop asking? NO!!
So on the plane ride home yesterday I finished my book, the last chapter " The adventure continues" is God not GOOD or what???
This adventure for us continues and thanking God for the water the sun and the sand, for this is the song I sing...
"My hope is built on nothing less,
than Jesus' blood and righteousness,
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean in Jesus' name,
on Christ , the solid rock, I stand
all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Love you, keep praying for us :)
But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps" 1 peter 2:20-21
Where do I begin, how do I fit all I have learned in a blog, I need a editor to put this into a book.
So I'll start with last Friday. We got the call that for sure Ariel was going to take the baby back, so I called Kay and asked if I could come say goodbye, she said "of course", after I hung up the phone Mason's school called they said he was in the nurses office crying, something about hitting his head (which he never did) I told the nurse that even though we had not sat down with him and told him that he would not be getting that little sister just yet, he still knew that we had been distant with him and he had seen mommy and daddy upset. I went and picked him up from school and together we went to see the baby. Jamie called and was heading to the gym, by now he had shut down, he did not want to say goodbye, to hard for him. I told him that we needed to get out of town, I checked airfares and found nothing. I looked at going to the Omaha zoo or to st.Louis for a long weekend, forecast to both....rain :( We would talk about it later when we both were home.
Mason and I got to Kay's and I got to snuggle on the baby for 2 hours, tell her that we loved her and that God would look after her. A lighthouse worker showed up and her eyes began to fill with tears, I told her she had to stop or mine would start flowing again, see we all know what life would be better for this little girl, but God has given us free will, so there fore we don't always make the best choices for ourselves. All we can do is pray.
We said our goodbyes and Mason and I started home. We had many phone calls and many I ignored (sorry) it is just to hard to re say over and over, I know that because of those calls you were just calling to say sorry and that really makes us feel loved, but on that day, really I wanted to crawl under a rock. My next two weeks were planned, sitting at home with my new daughter and having 2 baby showers to look forward too, clothes to be picked up at the cleaners for court the next day, everything was just like a train running over my heart. I pleaded with God, why would you cause us so much pain?? This hurts to much to bare, God had taken me to the edge that day and I did not know at the time weather to jump off the edge or fall back into his arms to catch me, see at the time, I wanted to jump.
As I was driving home my cell rang. It was a great friend on the other end, all she said was "how are you?" I said well it's been tough, just trying to put one foot in front of the other. she said ok, I told her that Jamie,Mason and I were going to meet at home pack a bag and get out of town, I also shared with her how it was rain everywhere we wanted to go, so we had not made a destination yet. She asked if she could call me back, and she did. On the line was her, me and her travel agent. She told the agent that she needed to get a trip booked for 3 to any place sunny.
The lady replied with "sounds great, when are we leaving?" umm today....lol
She probably thought we were nuts, but she did it, she put us on hold and began to work her magic (which was God working his) she came back and said "how about Florida?, Tampa area.
My friend said " well Shelley??" I said, looks like we are going to Florida. I ran into Mason's room and said "pack a swim suit we are going to the beach."
My friend then said I need a hotel too, right on the ocean, the travel agent had to pull some strings to get this one, it was the end of spring break in FL and most were booked,but she got us one, the Hilton. My friend then said charge this to my account and said Shelley I love you and will be praying for you, now go pack.
So we did, when I told Jamie we were leaving, he walked around in a zone for about 10 minutes with, ok, what do I do?. I had to coach him, shoes, sunscreen, underwear....
So we called my folks and they took us to the airport. We landed in FL about midnight on Friday, we went and rented a car and was on our way.
But, I saw a cute little African American girl, maybe 2. She was standing there with her mom and I immediately thought of what I thought was our little girl. I began to pray for her.
We made it to the hotel and crashed for the night.
That next morning I went out on our deck, which was on the ocean side, got my book by Sheila Walsh, told God he had to speak to me today and tell me, why us???
The next chapter in my book was "when we trust in what we cannot see" , I looked up said thank you and began to read.
I felt him there, saying "Im using you and I have pushed you to the edge, but I have offered a path for you to take, it won't be the easy one, but it's the one I know you'll choose, good and faithful servant.
I will take the hard road for you Lord I said, because you took the hard one for me.
When Mason and Jamie were awake we sun screened up grab some breakfast and hit the beach.
To get to the beach, we had to take a elevator down 3 flights and walk 100 feet, it was tough :)
We rented 2 chairs and Mason a boogie board,which I tried myself and found myself having child like fun with it.
I went with Mason while Jamie sat back and watched, we played in the sand,swam in the ocean, found seashells and buried each other in the sand. Jamie then offered to go play with Mason and I went back to my book. Next chapter "When we are changed by the faithfulness of others"
Sheila Walsh herself is a women to has changed others lives by telling her story, she suffers with depression and talks about it openly with women, telling them that it's ok to have to take her little blue pill everyday, God does not mind. but I also felt God telling me, that the crowd that Jamie and I have around us are watching, on lookers seeing what we may do in this situation we are in,
well here we are, still knowing that God's plan is better for us than we know.
The next chapter "when God seems so far away", yes I felt this on Thursday and Friday, I already shared with you how I was pleading with God where was he and why is he doing this to us?, I did not think I could handle this much.
See it makes me think of the day that Jesus took Journie from my arms to his. I thought that was a hard day,but for some reason I was so comforted by him that day, his presence was so close, and I knew that Journie was going to a home where she would be safe in his arms forever. I could not let go of the fact that, this baby was not going somewhere better, she would not have the life we could have gave her, I still do not know the answers to these questions and I may never know them.
I could not put my book down, I needed another word from him to live on the rest of the day, chapter 13, "when we share the heart of the Shepard " yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil" well folks good news to that verse. To have a shadow you must have light around it, so I'm living on the light around it, I have to focus here to stay and live, til I have another moment to come read again.
We enjoyed our time at the beach,went back to the room and shared between Jamie and I who had the worst burn :) Mason of course, was just black and I was jealous :)
We went and had a great dinner outside the beach at a place called Frenchy's rock away grill, Mason ate his weight in peel n' eat shrimp, I had a grouper sandwich and Jamie a blacken chicken sandwich, it was great. We stopped on the walk back to the hotel and bought a huge cookie and sat outside and ate it, Mason ate more than half, only because I was not fast enough to get to it. We walked and just enjoyed one another.
Over the few days, I would sit at the pool watch the children play, thank God for sunglasses, for at moments I would cry because I was thankful for the friend I have who sent us here to heal, at times I cried knowing that I really could fall back and he will catch me, at times I cried because I would wonder how different my life would be if I was at home with my daughter and not here in Fl., Lots of stuff to work out and go through, but he worked it all out for his good, it always does.
So, we continued to have a great time in FL, we went and saw a aquarium where they rescued hurt sea animals, one dolphin named winter was amazing, she was 3 months old and her tail got tangled in a fisherman's net, this facility took her in and watched after her, her tail was so damaged by the net that it began to fall off, she learned to swim like a fish in a back and forth motion not up and down like a traditional dolphin would swim. I got into a conversation with a man that worked there, who knew I must have been inspired by her story, not many folks were around and he let me go behind the ropes and look at her, her trainer was with her and she was working on strengthening her spine, a man who owned a prosthetic company made Winter a fake tail, it was made with fiber glass and silicon, this piece slipped onto her tail and she could then swim in a dolphin like swim, they say she wears it a couple hours a day to keep her spine strong, other wise she just swims like a fish, even him talking to me I was a little teary, he said" you know, just like any of us, when we are faced with a challenge in life, we can give up or we can become stronger." WOW, did he know I needed to hear that, thank you Lord for using a dolphin to get through this day. We had many things that God showed us and if I was not searching for him, I may have just missed them,
See friends..... it's what I don't want to miss that keeps us going, I don't want to miss God's blessing and therefore I don't want anything that's not God's will for us. I know that his timing is still perfect and I do not know that timing, it's not easy either, I have a closet full of little girl clothes that I'm dying to put on my little girl, so will I be patient? Yes, will I stop asking? NO!!
So on the plane ride home yesterday I finished my book, the last chapter " The adventure continues" is God not GOOD or what???
This adventure for us continues and thanking God for the water the sun and the sand, for this is the song I sing...
"My hope is built on nothing less,
than Jesus' blood and righteousness,
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean in Jesus' name,
on Christ , the solid rock, I stand
all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Love you, keep praying for us :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
My thoughts, my mind, His Word
We have been having a lot of meeting the last week about Peanut and her adoption coming up, this sets my mind a whirl. They come and tell us that Peanut's brother's father wants to adopt her too. They told us that because he has the boys , who are her half brothers (share the same mom) that he too will have preference because he is family, even though he is not even related to her. Put's a question mark in my mind for why, but I can't change that, it's the dfs system.
So the adoption specialist is here yesterday for over an hour telling us what will take place over the next 6 months.
They have to do a home study on this man , let's call him "Tim" . Homestudies take 3 month to do through dfs, but...... because Tim does not have a job or car and he lives at home with his mom and his boys he may not even qualify to get a home study done. This would be good for us, meaning they would set up a staffing and the only family in that staffing would be "US"
The earliest they can do a staffing if Tim is not involved is late September,after the staffing court usually moves quickly after that for a FINAL adoption. When I asked how fast, she said she did not know. We have never been worried about timing, lots of other people who are adopting have to wait while their child is in another foster home, and sometimes in another country. We are so blessed to have kept little "nutter butter" in our home, and to God all the glory for letting us have her while we are waiting.
If Tim meets the qualifications to have a home study, it will be 3 more months before they can even set up a staffing which could mean all this lasting until December or even into next year. This sets my mind racing, what if, what if, what if????
I have no idea how anyone with no faith could get through this, I know why other couples chose an adoption over seas, it may take a while, but none of this, but let me assure you, that this is the path Christ has set before us, we will praise him in this storm and give him thanks, for we know everything works out for his good.
I'm now going to let my human brain talk to you for a moment while I shed some tears and tell you, that I'm frustrated, my mind wonders all day and night when I can not sleep or focus on daily tasks, while if I'm not talking directly to God being right in front of his word reading it to get me through this, myself takes over and it breaks my heart to think of what could happen. The whole time I'm writing this tears stream down my cheeks as Peanut notices them, she brings me every toy in her toy box and says "there". The dogs are even in my lap and as I sniffle they look up at me with worry. So sweet that the Lord comforts me even in this time, monster trucks and baby dolls that are being given and these dogs who could not get any closer to me if they wanted to, I did not tell you that one of these dogs is my parents 80lb dog and she too is laying right beside me.Kinda sweet huh?
Ok, so I have gathered myself back together to tell you what HE has given me.
Yesterday he told me to get out of bed with awareness of his presence, that to give him the "what if such and such happens, can I handle it?", remember this is before our meeting.
He said the question is not if I can handle it but, to tell me that anything that occurs, I can handle with him, because we are in this together.
Today I woke up with my mind running, the to do list, the what if's again and how or what would I do, but I heard HIM say whisper my name, Jesus. So I did, with apologizing for my morning breath,I whispered "Jesus" I immedialty felt like I needed to give Jesus all my senses he has given us. I started with my eyes, dear heavenly Father, thank you for my eye sight, thank you for allowing me to see this earth you have created, for people who say they have never "seen the light", that they do not know, because no one has told them, how do they look around and wonder, how did all this get here?
The next was my smell, yesterday the foster mom of Tina brought me flowers, the scent is intoxicating. The scent of mason's hair, Peanut right out of the bath,coffee beans and I also love the smell of nature, the rain before it comes, lilacs are my favorite scent. When I walk by a lilac bush or tress, I want to just sit and let the breeze come as I can not get enough of that scent.
I go to my mouth, for I use to tasting and...... I like to eat, so all those fabulous foods we have, come on what's you favorite foods?, I can not narrate mine down to one,it depends on the day,sometimes it's a grilled hamburger with corn of the cob and fresh cold watermelon. Also a warm peach cobbler, the cobbler is warm so the ice cream melts just a little making it a little running, but no so soggy that it's a liquid. I know your hungry now, me too :)
I went from the taste to not a sense, but something I'm so thankful for, my voice. I use this for my opinion, I use this to speak on behalf of these motherless and fatherless children, but what I use it for that brings glory to my God, is praising his name in song. Anytime I ever need to be moved and feel the holy spirit I sing, I will go to you-tube, type in my favorite praise songs, stand wherever I may be and lift up our heavenly Father.
I also thanked him for my organs which allow me to live, my heart for letting it beat and thanking him for living inside of it.
When Mason first accepted Christ, he thought Jesus was really living in there, physically. He said "momma, how does Jesus fit in there?", my response, "he just does Mason, he's magical".
I thanked him for my sense of touch, that I could feel the kisses from my kids, and the warmth of my husbands arms while embracing in one of our many hugs we have a day, we are big huggers in our family. If you ever meet my grandma, she does not care who you are, if you walked in the door with one of us, your going to get a hug. Love that about her.
And the last on my list was my feet, I thanked him for leading my path, for putting my feet allows on solid ground, no matter how many times I fall and get brusied or cuts and scraps, lots of them I have perment scars for. I could not stop thinking about feet. The Lord gave me a vision of sitting at his feet, praising his name, I could not look up he was too bright to see. I knew I was at his feet. A bit if white cloth barley covered his toes, and gold rope was also dragging the floor, but what I was doing will never leave my mind, I was washing his feet with perfumed oil.
Luke 7:38 is now what is in my mind
"and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them"
Loved ones, at the end of this story Jesus forgives her of her sins, he tells her, "your faith is what has saved you, go in peace"
I am today believing this word, my faith is going to save me and for the rest of this day, I too will go in Peace.
Have a blessed day
Shelley
We have been having a lot of meeting the last week about Peanut and her adoption coming up, this sets my mind a whirl. They come and tell us that Peanut's brother's father wants to adopt her too. They told us that because he has the boys , who are her half brothers (share the same mom) that he too will have preference because he is family, even though he is not even related to her. Put's a question mark in my mind for why, but I can't change that, it's the dfs system.
So the adoption specialist is here yesterday for over an hour telling us what will take place over the next 6 months.
They have to do a home study on this man , let's call him "Tim" . Homestudies take 3 month to do through dfs, but...... because Tim does not have a job or car and he lives at home with his mom and his boys he may not even qualify to get a home study done. This would be good for us, meaning they would set up a staffing and the only family in that staffing would be "US"
The earliest they can do a staffing if Tim is not involved is late September,after the staffing court usually moves quickly after that for a FINAL adoption. When I asked how fast, she said she did not know. We have never been worried about timing, lots of other people who are adopting have to wait while their child is in another foster home, and sometimes in another country. We are so blessed to have kept little "nutter butter" in our home, and to God all the glory for letting us have her while we are waiting.
If Tim meets the qualifications to have a home study, it will be 3 more months before they can even set up a staffing which could mean all this lasting until December or even into next year. This sets my mind racing, what if, what if, what if????
I have no idea how anyone with no faith could get through this, I know why other couples chose an adoption over seas, it may take a while, but none of this, but let me assure you, that this is the path Christ has set before us, we will praise him in this storm and give him thanks, for we know everything works out for his good.
I'm now going to let my human brain talk to you for a moment while I shed some tears and tell you, that I'm frustrated, my mind wonders all day and night when I can not sleep or focus on daily tasks, while if I'm not talking directly to God being right in front of his word reading it to get me through this, myself takes over and it breaks my heart to think of what could happen. The whole time I'm writing this tears stream down my cheeks as Peanut notices them, she brings me every toy in her toy box and says "there". The dogs are even in my lap and as I sniffle they look up at me with worry. So sweet that the Lord comforts me even in this time, monster trucks and baby dolls that are being given and these dogs who could not get any closer to me if they wanted to, I did not tell you that one of these dogs is my parents 80lb dog and she too is laying right beside me.Kinda sweet huh?
Ok, so I have gathered myself back together to tell you what HE has given me.
Yesterday he told me to get out of bed with awareness of his presence, that to give him the "what if such and such happens, can I handle it?", remember this is before our meeting.
He said the question is not if I can handle it but, to tell me that anything that occurs, I can handle with him, because we are in this together.
Today I woke up with my mind running, the to do list, the what if's again and how or what would I do, but I heard HIM say whisper my name, Jesus. So I did, with apologizing for my morning breath,I whispered "Jesus" I immedialty felt like I needed to give Jesus all my senses he has given us. I started with my eyes, dear heavenly Father, thank you for my eye sight, thank you for allowing me to see this earth you have created, for people who say they have never "seen the light", that they do not know, because no one has told them, how do they look around and wonder, how did all this get here?
The next was my smell, yesterday the foster mom of Tina brought me flowers, the scent is intoxicating. The scent of mason's hair, Peanut right out of the bath,coffee beans and I also love the smell of nature, the rain before it comes, lilacs are my favorite scent. When I walk by a lilac bush or tress, I want to just sit and let the breeze come as I can not get enough of that scent.
I go to my mouth, for I use to tasting and...... I like to eat, so all those fabulous foods we have, come on what's you favorite foods?, I can not narrate mine down to one,it depends on the day,sometimes it's a grilled hamburger with corn of the cob and fresh cold watermelon. Also a warm peach cobbler, the cobbler is warm so the ice cream melts just a little making it a little running, but no so soggy that it's a liquid. I know your hungry now, me too :)
I went from the taste to not a sense, but something I'm so thankful for, my voice. I use this for my opinion, I use this to speak on behalf of these motherless and fatherless children, but what I use it for that brings glory to my God, is praising his name in song. Anytime I ever need to be moved and feel the holy spirit I sing, I will go to you-tube, type in my favorite praise songs, stand wherever I may be and lift up our heavenly Father.
I also thanked him for my organs which allow me to live, my heart for letting it beat and thanking him for living inside of it.
When Mason first accepted Christ, he thought Jesus was really living in there, physically. He said "momma, how does Jesus fit in there?", my response, "he just does Mason, he's magical".
I thanked him for my sense of touch, that I could feel the kisses from my kids, and the warmth of my husbands arms while embracing in one of our many hugs we have a day, we are big huggers in our family. If you ever meet my grandma, she does not care who you are, if you walked in the door with one of us, your going to get a hug. Love that about her.
And the last on my list was my feet, I thanked him for leading my path, for putting my feet allows on solid ground, no matter how many times I fall and get brusied or cuts and scraps, lots of them I have perment scars for. I could not stop thinking about feet. The Lord gave me a vision of sitting at his feet, praising his name, I could not look up he was too bright to see. I knew I was at his feet. A bit if white cloth barley covered his toes, and gold rope was also dragging the floor, but what I was doing will never leave my mind, I was washing his feet with perfumed oil.
Luke 7:38 is now what is in my mind
"and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them"
Loved ones, at the end of this story Jesus forgives her of her sins, he tells her, "your faith is what has saved you, go in peace"
I am today believing this word, my faith is going to save me and for the rest of this day, I too will go in Peace.
Have a blessed day
Shelley
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Today in my quiet time, God said to do stuff today without looking at a clock, or the time frame to get things done.
I did all day except for the time I needed to get home so Jamie could go personal train someone (he had the kids, while I was away at a funeral.)
Something at the funeral of my Great Uncle Kenny was spoken today, that I really liked and would like to share it with you.
It's a story about a older man.
The older man knew that his time was soon coming that his life here on earth would soon be gone and his life in Heaven with Jesus would soon be here. He contacted a local funeral home and told the man he wanted to start planning the funeral, the man of course was puzzled that before he was dead was planning this, but of course he agreed.
The man picked out his favorite songs to be played along with the color of his casket and his favorite suit that he should wear. As they were finishing up, he said. "Oh yes and place a fork in my hand when you prepare my body and even bury me with it"
The funeral home man made a awkward face and asked the old man, "sir can I ask you why you would like the fork placed in your hand?"
The old man nodded with a grin on his face, he said well I always remember going out to eat as a young child and at the time when the waitress came to take my plate , she always said. "Keep your fork."
I knew that when she said keep your fork that she meant something better was to come, that maybe a nice slice of deep dish apple pie was coming, or maybe a large piece of red velvet cake. Whatever it was it was always something I looked forward to.
So when people walk passed my casket and ask "why is he holding a fork?" just tell them, the best is yet to come.
Maybe Heaven does or does not have red velvet cake or deep dish apple pie, my thought is of course they do and it's calorie free.
I do know , that this world does keep time, sometimes things like babies growing too fast or vacation being over too soon, we think "time goes flies by"
Other, in times of loosing a loved one, or having your house taken by tornado can seem time is standing still.
In all of this God's timing is always perfect, he already has it all planned out, but no matter what it is, whether time flying by, or standing still, I too am keeping my fork for the best is yet to come.
I did all day except for the time I needed to get home so Jamie could go personal train someone (he had the kids, while I was away at a funeral.)
Something at the funeral of my Great Uncle Kenny was spoken today, that I really liked and would like to share it with you.
It's a story about a older man.
The older man knew that his time was soon coming that his life here on earth would soon be gone and his life in Heaven with Jesus would soon be here. He contacted a local funeral home and told the man he wanted to start planning the funeral, the man of course was puzzled that before he was dead was planning this, but of course he agreed.
The man picked out his favorite songs to be played along with the color of his casket and his favorite suit that he should wear. As they were finishing up, he said. "Oh yes and place a fork in my hand when you prepare my body and even bury me with it"
The funeral home man made a awkward face and asked the old man, "sir can I ask you why you would like the fork placed in your hand?"
The old man nodded with a grin on his face, he said well I always remember going out to eat as a young child and at the time when the waitress came to take my plate , she always said. "Keep your fork."
I knew that when she said keep your fork that she meant something better was to come, that maybe a nice slice of deep dish apple pie was coming, or maybe a large piece of red velvet cake. Whatever it was it was always something I looked forward to.
So when people walk passed my casket and ask "why is he holding a fork?" just tell them, the best is yet to come.
Maybe Heaven does or does not have red velvet cake or deep dish apple pie, my thought is of course they do and it's calorie free.
I do know , that this world does keep time, sometimes things like babies growing too fast or vacation being over too soon, we think "time goes flies by"
Other, in times of loosing a loved one, or having your house taken by tornado can seem time is standing still.
In all of this God's timing is always perfect, he already has it all planned out, but no matter what it is, whether time flying by, or standing still, I too am keeping my fork for the best is yet to come.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I have two daily devotionals that I read every day, one was a gift from a friend and the other I picked up at a women of faith event.
Everyday I read them, its about a paragraph each and just gets my day started with God's word, some-days I just read them and ponder on what God is saying to me and other days, well it slaps me in the face.
Yesterday I was reading one and this is what it said.
"as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:8-9
I read it and thought, well yep I know that, opened the next devotional and read it, this is what it said......
the challenge for you today is to trust me and search for my way everyday, it also said that understanding my will and the future for my life is failure, We will ALWAYS fall short of God, only he knows the best for us, then ended with......."for my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
"For as the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so my higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"
So of course it caught my attention because two different books, that have nothing to do with one another, are saying the same verse on the same day, so I prayed about it asked God to use me as his vessel that day and to use the words he spoke to me in the day, well he didn't.
I was not upset I know Gods timing is always perfect and knew it would come someday.
Today was our meeting, its called a mediation meeting. The meeting is for us to decide and be asked if Peanut's mom can have any contact with her knowing that her rights are being taken away, you have to first know that the only time we have seen her Mother was in court, when she was mad and usually yelling the the court system and always defending herself.
So today, sitting at this table that was very small in a very small room, there was only Jamie and I, the mediator and her birth mom in the room, by conference call was the lawyer that speaks on Peanuts behalf and a supervisor also who was on by conference call.
I was not sure what to expect from mom, thought she would come in mad, but I just prayed the whole time as we sat waiting for her to come into the room, my prayer "Dear Heavenly Father, please give me the words and wisdom to speak, please Lord meet us here in this room , I give you my anxiety and worries right now, please let me be you right now, hide us behind your cross, let us love on this women as you do, break my heart Lord for what breaks yours, all of this for your Glory, Amen."
So we started the meeting with the 2 ladies on the phone telling the history of the Peanuts birth-mom , how she has done nothing that the courts have asked.
We said nothing, and mom was not angry, she seemed almost embarrassed.
Then we all began to talk about Peanuts future, the mediator asked her mom, what she wanted for her daughter, she said she wanted nothing but the best for her daughter, and she knows that she does not want her to have the life that she has had. She was afraid that if she had her in her care now, that the cycle would repeat itself and that she would never want that for her daughter. She told everyone in the room that she was thankful for Jamie and I, that she had nothing against us, she said she knows there is bad foster parents out there that do not care about the foster kids, and she can tell that we love her daughter.
Her birth mom asked us what we would say about her if she decided to let us adopt her, what would we say about her mom when she got older and asked , we told her that we would tell her that her mom her mom loved her so much that she did the best thing for her child and gave her up for adoption, knowing that we could give her a better life.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks and then mine as my heart broke for her, she was realizing this was the better choice, God was letting me feel what she was feeling, at first it was failure as a mother and now it was courage to do the right thing.
She said I don't know this family well, only seen them at the court hearings, but I can tell they will take care of her, then she looked deep into my eyes and asked, "please you won't let anything bad happen to her, will you?"
I told her that we already loved her as our own and I would protect her as best as I could.
The mediator at that time, asked her mom "are you saying that you would like to let them adopt her?" She began to cry and said "yes"
So of course I began to cry and then the mediator began to cry, she told us she was breaking all the rules letting herself cry too, birth mom had to excuse herself from the room for a moment to compose herself, Jamie and I just sat in the room in silence except for a few sniffles for the tears that would not stop coming.
This lady who for 16 months who has fought the system the whole way, is now willing to let us adopt her daughter, only God, only God!!!!
We all came back into the room the mediator asked how we could keep in contact, we said we would send photos and letters to her address. Mom agreed to that also.
We started to end the meeting and the mediator asked if we all had anything in closing to say, Jamie just looked at the birth mom and said thank you, I dug in my purse after the Lord told me to give her a photo of Peanut. I handed it to her, told her to keep this picture as encouragement to get clean, maybe the photo could be her inspiration.
She starred at it for a long time while crying.
I told her that I was proud of the choice she was making and that she was courageous, not a failure for making the choice she did today.
She looked at the mediator and said, if it's ok with the foster mom and you , can I hug her?
She replied yes and I almost ran to her with my arms open, just as Jesus would have, we hugged so tight as we both sobbed, for one mother letting go of her daughter and the other embracing her.
As we hugged I told her to focus on today, for tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own.
She said thank you, then as we we finished the hug, she said" you promise to take care of her?" I said "I promise"
God's ways are better than ours, his thoughts are better than our own.
I think sometimes God only gives us a glimpse of what he sees because, we could not handle this kind of grace all the time, we are human. He wants us to come to him in all circumstances, and not just the big stuff, but little too.
Won't you give God your "stuff?" he wants to mold into a beautiful tapestry."he promises' ;)"
Love you all,
Shelley
Everyday I read them, its about a paragraph each and just gets my day started with God's word, some-days I just read them and ponder on what God is saying to me and other days, well it slaps me in the face.
Yesterday I was reading one and this is what it said.
"as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:8-9
I read it and thought, well yep I know that, opened the next devotional and read it, this is what it said......
the challenge for you today is to trust me and search for my way everyday, it also said that understanding my will and the future for my life is failure, We will ALWAYS fall short of God, only he knows the best for us, then ended with......."for my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
"For as the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so my higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"
So of course it caught my attention because two different books, that have nothing to do with one another, are saying the same verse on the same day, so I prayed about it asked God to use me as his vessel that day and to use the words he spoke to me in the day, well he didn't.
I was not upset I know Gods timing is always perfect and knew it would come someday.
Today was our meeting, its called a mediation meeting. The meeting is for us to decide and be asked if Peanut's mom can have any contact with her knowing that her rights are being taken away, you have to first know that the only time we have seen her Mother was in court, when she was mad and usually yelling the the court system and always defending herself.
So today, sitting at this table that was very small in a very small room, there was only Jamie and I, the mediator and her birth mom in the room, by conference call was the lawyer that speaks on Peanuts behalf and a supervisor also who was on by conference call.
I was not sure what to expect from mom, thought she would come in mad, but I just prayed the whole time as we sat waiting for her to come into the room, my prayer "Dear Heavenly Father, please give me the words and wisdom to speak, please Lord meet us here in this room , I give you my anxiety and worries right now, please let me be you right now, hide us behind your cross, let us love on this women as you do, break my heart Lord for what breaks yours, all of this for your Glory, Amen."
So we started the meeting with the 2 ladies on the phone telling the history of the Peanuts birth-mom , how she has done nothing that the courts have asked.
We said nothing, and mom was not angry, she seemed almost embarrassed.
Then we all began to talk about Peanuts future, the mediator asked her mom, what she wanted for her daughter, she said she wanted nothing but the best for her daughter, and she knows that she does not want her to have the life that she has had. She was afraid that if she had her in her care now, that the cycle would repeat itself and that she would never want that for her daughter. She told everyone in the room that she was thankful for Jamie and I, that she had nothing against us, she said she knows there is bad foster parents out there that do not care about the foster kids, and she can tell that we love her daughter.
Her birth mom asked us what we would say about her if she decided to let us adopt her, what would we say about her mom when she got older and asked , we told her that we would tell her that her mom her mom loved her so much that she did the best thing for her child and gave her up for adoption, knowing that we could give her a better life.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks and then mine as my heart broke for her, she was realizing this was the better choice, God was letting me feel what she was feeling, at first it was failure as a mother and now it was courage to do the right thing.
She said I don't know this family well, only seen them at the court hearings, but I can tell they will take care of her, then she looked deep into my eyes and asked, "please you won't let anything bad happen to her, will you?"
I told her that we already loved her as our own and I would protect her as best as I could.
The mediator at that time, asked her mom "are you saying that you would like to let them adopt her?" She began to cry and said "yes"
So of course I began to cry and then the mediator began to cry, she told us she was breaking all the rules letting herself cry too, birth mom had to excuse herself from the room for a moment to compose herself, Jamie and I just sat in the room in silence except for a few sniffles for the tears that would not stop coming.
This lady who for 16 months who has fought the system the whole way, is now willing to let us adopt her daughter, only God, only God!!!!
We all came back into the room the mediator asked how we could keep in contact, we said we would send photos and letters to her address. Mom agreed to that also.
We started to end the meeting and the mediator asked if we all had anything in closing to say, Jamie just looked at the birth mom and said thank you, I dug in my purse after the Lord told me to give her a photo of Peanut. I handed it to her, told her to keep this picture as encouragement to get clean, maybe the photo could be her inspiration.
She starred at it for a long time while crying.
I told her that I was proud of the choice she was making and that she was courageous, not a failure for making the choice she did today.
She looked at the mediator and said, if it's ok with the foster mom and you , can I hug her?
She replied yes and I almost ran to her with my arms open, just as Jesus would have, we hugged so tight as we both sobbed, for one mother letting go of her daughter and the other embracing her.
As we hugged I told her to focus on today, for tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own.
She said thank you, then as we we finished the hug, she said" you promise to take care of her?" I said "I promise"
God's ways are better than ours, his thoughts are better than our own.
I think sometimes God only gives us a glimpse of what he sees because, we could not handle this kind of grace all the time, we are human. He wants us to come to him in all circumstances, and not just the big stuff, but little too.
Won't you give God your "stuff?" he wants to mold into a beautiful tapestry."he promises' ;)"
Love you all,
Shelley
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Ok, so this is not about adoption, but I guess if you are adopting you really have to pinch your pennies to do so, right?
This is my walgreens deal today.
I got
2 tylenol precise creams, $7.99 each = $15.98
2 lady speed stick deodorants, $2.39 each=$4.78
1 box 36 ct tampons,$7.99
total of =$28.75
I had 2 coupons from the Tylenol website for $5 off any one Tylenol precise product
then.....in the walgreens coupons there was a $3 off coupon.
So I took 2 coupons books from walgreens, and used 2 coupons on one item,and 2 on the other making them FREE!
Then lady speed stick at Walgreen was buy one get one FREE, so I had 50 cent of coupons from the manufacture (which I have 2 of also), well since I'm buying 2 deodorants, they let me use both coupons, so I got $1.00 off one and the other one FREE, making my total so far $3.78 for all....then....
I got a 36 ct box of kotex tampons, I had a $3 off manufacturer coupon and walgreens has a $3 off coupon in their book, so that takes those from $7.99 to $1.99.
My total with out tax $5.78 :)
Just a fun way to save some money,
and of course like always with anything in my life, PRAISE JESUS!!
This is my walgreens deal today.
I got
2 tylenol precise creams, $7.99 each = $15.98
2 lady speed stick deodorants, $2.39 each=$4.78
1 box 36 ct tampons,$7.99
total of =$28.75
I had 2 coupons from the Tylenol website for $5 off any one Tylenol precise product
then.....in the walgreens coupons there was a $3 off coupon.
So I took 2 coupons books from walgreens, and used 2 coupons on one item,and 2 on the other making them FREE!
Then lady speed stick at Walgreen was buy one get one FREE, so I had 50 cent of coupons from the manufacture (which I have 2 of also), well since I'm buying 2 deodorants, they let me use both coupons, so I got $1.00 off one and the other one FREE, making my total so far $3.78 for all....then....
I got a 36 ct box of kotex tampons, I had a $3 off manufacturer coupon and walgreens has a $3 off coupon in their book, so that takes those from $7.99 to $1.99.
My total with out tax $5.78 :)
Just a fun way to save some money,
and of course like always with anything in my life, PRAISE JESUS!!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Well it's Sunday night and things are still going strong here in the McCain household.
It's usually 8 when Peanut goes to bed, then 9 when Mason goes to bed, so we are still wrapping the evening up, but I knew if I did not blog now, you all would be waiting another day.
So I decided that right now is the time.
God spoke boldly this am, and that's when I like to sit down and blog, because it's fresh in my mind as well as my heart, but I was on time for church and I was afraid if I sat down and I would be late.
I hate being late anywhere, but I really hate being late for church, worship is one of my favorite times, I feel like it allows me to breath, accept his presence and then prepare myself for what he has to say.
Lots of you have asked about us moving, so here is the status on that....
We have felt for awhile now that God is asking us to move, we are not sure where or when but he has asked us, we really are not sure if God is asking us to do this and then we will still stay right here on Sweet Gum, but he is asking us to be obedient, and that is what we will be.
Our minds are thinking that maybe we will be moving to either, Blue Springs Mo (North side, Go Wildcats!!) or to Arlington Texas where Jamie has a job interview in July.
I know, I know, that's two WAY different places. So what we feel we need to do is put our house up for sale by owner for now, if someone buys it we will go from there.
God's word tells us to not to worry about tomorrow, for there is enough to focus on for today alone. It was affirmation today at church, for this is a verse was spoken by our pastor, today he spoke about being anxious and worrying. So please be praying for the purchase of our home, we are praying that the perfect family comes along and buys it.
We built this home and has lots of memories in it. From bringing Mason to it with nothing but cows in the backyard, then to becoming foster parents and caring for over 14 babies here. I rocked a lot of babies to sleep in that back bedroom and even said goodbye to one, who now lives with our heavenly Father.
I'm not looking back with sadness, but looking back with joy.
I'm looking forward for what the Lord has planned for us, for sure we are praying," Lord Order My Steps In Your Word!!!"
I read a devotion daily, and I love reading it then cross references it with the bible.
I love, love, love it, when I open the devotion or his word and God smacks me in the face with what he wants to tell me. Today in my devotion he told me this.
"You are in the path of My choosing. There is no randomness in your life. Here and now comprise the coordinates of you life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half lived. They avoid the present while worrying about the future or longing for a better time and a better place.They forget that they are creatures who are subjects to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.
Every moment is alive with my Glorious Presence to those who hearts are intimately connected with mine.
As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion of Me, you will simply have no to time for worry. Thus you are freed to let my spirit direct your steps (yes, order my steps!!)
this will enable you to walk along the path of Peace."
This all comes from Luke 12:25-26 & Luke 1:79
I read that, then I read it again, out loud, and with thankfulness that filled my heart. I then began to sing, order my steps in your word!! While Satan is busy God is REAL, order my steps in your word. This means Satan is busy trying to find his way in, by giving us negative thoughts about what we are doing, some people have even talked down to us about moving, or questioned us why, guess what?
I'm gunna let what you just said fly, let it roll off, when God has asked you to do something and you are doing it, you NEVER have to defend yourself, NEVER. I do not say any of this out of anger, don't try to ask yourself "did I say something?" It's not you, it's Satan and we have in the name of Jesus rebuked him from this situation. We ask many of you for your prayers, not your opinions and then we can watch God work.
I can't wait to see what he has planned and as hard as it is with my human brain trying to see where he is piecing it together, I will choose to focus on today and today only
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
Love you all
Shelley
ps as I finish this I got a call from the foster parents we are doing respite care for next week.
They will be here friday and we will have both of them for one week. Ezekiel is 1 and Tina is 4 months, Tina was admitted to children's mercy tonight with a yucky cough, she is only 6 lbs at her age of 4 moths, she was born at 23 weeks, she is a miracle baby, please pray for her to get well, I can't wait to sing, pray and love on them while they are here :)
It's usually 8 when Peanut goes to bed, then 9 when Mason goes to bed, so we are still wrapping the evening up, but I knew if I did not blog now, you all would be waiting another day.
So I decided that right now is the time.
God spoke boldly this am, and that's when I like to sit down and blog, because it's fresh in my mind as well as my heart, but I was on time for church and I was afraid if I sat down and I would be late.
I hate being late anywhere, but I really hate being late for church, worship is one of my favorite times, I feel like it allows me to breath, accept his presence and then prepare myself for what he has to say.
Lots of you have asked about us moving, so here is the status on that....
We have felt for awhile now that God is asking us to move, we are not sure where or when but he has asked us, we really are not sure if God is asking us to do this and then we will still stay right here on Sweet Gum, but he is asking us to be obedient, and that is what we will be.
Our minds are thinking that maybe we will be moving to either, Blue Springs Mo (North side, Go Wildcats!!) or to Arlington Texas where Jamie has a job interview in July.
I know, I know, that's two WAY different places. So what we feel we need to do is put our house up for sale by owner for now, if someone buys it we will go from there.
God's word tells us to not to worry about tomorrow, for there is enough to focus on for today alone. It was affirmation today at church, for this is a verse was spoken by our pastor, today he spoke about being anxious and worrying. So please be praying for the purchase of our home, we are praying that the perfect family comes along and buys it.
We built this home and has lots of memories in it. From bringing Mason to it with nothing but cows in the backyard, then to becoming foster parents and caring for over 14 babies here. I rocked a lot of babies to sleep in that back bedroom and even said goodbye to one, who now lives with our heavenly Father.
I'm not looking back with sadness, but looking back with joy.
I'm looking forward for what the Lord has planned for us, for sure we are praying," Lord Order My Steps In Your Word!!!"
I read a devotion daily, and I love reading it then cross references it with the bible.
I love, love, love it, when I open the devotion or his word and God smacks me in the face with what he wants to tell me. Today in my devotion he told me this.
"You are in the path of My choosing. There is no randomness in your life. Here and now comprise the coordinates of you life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half lived. They avoid the present while worrying about the future or longing for a better time and a better place.They forget that they are creatures who are subjects to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.
Every moment is alive with my Glorious Presence to those who hearts are intimately connected with mine.
As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion of Me, you will simply have no to time for worry. Thus you are freed to let my spirit direct your steps (yes, order my steps!!)
this will enable you to walk along the path of Peace."
This all comes from Luke 12:25-26 & Luke 1:79
I read that, then I read it again, out loud, and with thankfulness that filled my heart. I then began to sing, order my steps in your word!! While Satan is busy God is REAL, order my steps in your word. This means Satan is busy trying to find his way in, by giving us negative thoughts about what we are doing, some people have even talked down to us about moving, or questioned us why, guess what?
I'm gunna let what you just said fly, let it roll off, when God has asked you to do something and you are doing it, you NEVER have to defend yourself, NEVER. I do not say any of this out of anger, don't try to ask yourself "did I say something?" It's not you, it's Satan and we have in the name of Jesus rebuked him from this situation. We ask many of you for your prayers, not your opinions and then we can watch God work.
I can't wait to see what he has planned and as hard as it is with my human brain trying to see where he is piecing it together, I will choose to focus on today and today only
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
Love you all
Shelley
ps as I finish this I got a call from the foster parents we are doing respite care for next week.
They will be here friday and we will have both of them for one week. Ezekiel is 1 and Tina is 4 months, Tina was admitted to children's mercy tonight with a yucky cough, she is only 6 lbs at her age of 4 moths, she was born at 23 weeks, she is a miracle baby, please pray for her to get well, I can't wait to sing, pray and love on them while they are here :)
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