For those of you who missed my testimony Friday night at Marlie's celebration, here is my notes. Enjoy and God bless!!
Good evening and thank you for joining us. I’m so excited you chose to spend your evening celebration with us. We have been on quite a journey to get here, but we gathered here tonight, not only to celebrate the adoption of our daughter, but to worship the Father for the gift he has given us. Would you please bow your heads with me?
Would you please welcome my friends as we start this evening out with a song of praise?
I again am so thankful for all of you who have prayed with us and supported us through this journey. A few years ago we met here to have a benefit concert. We were sure of this path God had put us on, but had no idea what was in store.
Recently God prompted me to have another concert, but a one of celebration. I pleaded with God, why? He said because I want you to finish your story. I have not had you come all this way to keep it to yourself. I want you to share with everyone your journey I have set you on and most of all; tell them that all the promises I made you I have provided. So with that said, won’t you lend me you ear and open your hearts as we travel in the past as I share with you, our journey to our daughter?
Hebrews 12:1 says
“Therefore, since we are all surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily eantangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
While searching God’s heart I was now starting seeing things through his eyes.
The things that break his heart were now breaking mine. I saw mother-less and father-less children with his eyes, not with my own. I knew that God that was boldly asking us to adopt another child.
This is where God asked us to put on our running shoes for the preparation of a marathon that was about to take place. We began with a walk.
We looked at a lot of adoption agencies and even researched about adoption agencies overseas. The idea of it looked exciting and like a great adventure, but the money was what was stopping us from taking this adventure, it seemed like a large amount we just could not fit in the budget. So we felt God asking us to have a benefit concert here at First Baptist, you remember, many of you were here. That was an awesome evening .The dvd’s and cd’s have been shared to many who have come across our paths.
We kept searching agencies but were not feeling directed, so we started out by filling out an application with the lighthouse. We filled out the paper work paid the application fee and were on the “waiting list”. During this waiting period Jamie and I talked about looking into the dfs system, if we became foster parents it would cost less to adopt and we would ONLY adopt, we did not want babies living in our home, only to know they were going back to a bad home life. So with prayer and guidance we signed up for the classes. We started them not know what we were getting into, but in James 1 it says “to be joyful when you face trials, that testing our faith builds endurance “well maybe we are ready for a slow jog? Every time we would start a new class they would go around the room and ask, so are you here to foster, or foster to adopt, we ALWAYS said to adopt ONLY. The classes were over they sent us a certificate that we were now official foster parents for the state of Mo. Jamie and I also took extra classes to be professional parents, so if you ever need advice we are professional’s, we even have a certificate on the fridge to remind us….LOL
We had a phone call from the Lighthouse asking if our profile could be shown to a birth mom who was giving up her baby for adoption, she was a teenager and wanted us to have her baby girl. As time went by we heard the mom was changing her mind and maybe wanted to keep her baby. She got to her 7th month in pregnancy and no longer wanted us to adopt her, but wanted to keep her little girl. Jamie and I felt “sore”, kind of like after a hard workout, there was pain, but knew it was good for us. Again we found in scripture in
1 peter “that perseverance will bring character and integrity.”
This is where God showed up and smacked me in the face, I was attending the women of faith event at sprint center with a group of ladies, we always have a great time there, tears and laughter….. and for me a revelation. I felt God talking to me the whole weekend; he was telling me to stay on his path and to “be still”
So on Saturday of this event Steven Curtis Chapman got up and spoke to us, he talked about mom’s but most of all this day he spoke of foster parents, knew they were changing the world one little heart beat at a time, he got up and sang this song. I began to cry, knowing God was telling me to go and prepare a home for these babies. I went home and shared with Jamie what had happened, I told him, I think we are suppose to foster these babies. I told him we needed to empty the guest bedroom put up Mason’s old crib and make it a nursery. This was on Saturday, by Sunday night I had painted the room and the stripes on the wall the same colors that were at the women of faith event. Jamie came home from work on Sunday and without me reminding him or hounding him about it he got the crib out started wiping it off and put it together. Now this in itself is God’s work….LOL
Our small group that evening gave us a foster parent shower, we received a few clothing items, and some diapers and wipes, I went right home and put them all away, it was perfect we were ready.
We had once again stepped back on the treadmill. That next day I was at work when I got a phone call from the division of family services, they needed a emergency placement for a 3 month old little boy, I called Jamie confirmed we were ready to do this and said yes. Franklin came into our home that evening at 10 pm, he was dirty and had a gown on that was so small that it was making his legs bunch up around his waist. The social worker told us a baby had died in this home a few days prior and until the investigation was over we would have him. My mother instincts took over immediately I told Jamie to go rum him a bath, I did not care that is was now 10:30, this baby was going to be clean and with a full belly before I would lay him down for the night. It took 2 baths to get him clean and allow a brush through his hair; he drank 2 bottles before his eyes could just no longer stay open, I think I held him for 30 minutes while he just slept. Franklyn lived with us for 5 months before the case was closed and he was allowed to go back to live with his mother. Franklyn was an awesome baby; his smile could light up the room. Many people asked if we would adopt him if became available and I always answered no, I don’t think he is ours was my response. Lots of surprised faces, but Jamie and I had confirmation that Franklyn was there for just a short time, that God had told us this was a marathon, not just a sprint.
A few other babies came in and out of our home for a short time, always leaving with adoptive families, God was laying out our path and we were just running along the side of him. Proverbs 11:14 says” lack of guidance leads to defeat, but victory can be obtained through a wise counsel.”
We did some respite care for people too, but one little girl stole my heart her name was Journie Unique Price. Journie was a premature baby girl who had many medical problems. She came to stay with us a few times before, but the last time she came to stay she was given a Do Not Resituate. She was using every ounce of energy just to breath, man she was sweet and now when I think about her, I miss those chubby cheeks and her hot pink toe nails, something about bath time was our favorite, for a moment I got to free her of take all her tubes and wires . After a bath we would just snuggle. On September 27th I was holding her outside on the deck. I saw a beautiful butterfly land as I was praying, God its ok you can take her; I will be ok. For I know you can free her of all her tubes and wires forever. It was when I whispered to Journie “it’s ok baby girl, Jesus will be there to hold you” that then she drew her last breath here in the flesh. During her funeral the pastor said something that sticks with me when I think of Journie, he said it was Jesus who had the Journey, how Unique it was and in the end it is Jesus who paid the price so that we all could be free.
Shortly after we got another phone call from the lighthouse about a 14 year girl who was pregnant and wanted us to adopt her baby; we set up a date to meet this mother. The meeting went well and of course Mason stole her heart.
From the moment we walked out that door my heart yearned for this teenage girl. I wrote her notes and sent her little gifts, told her I was praying for her. When we would hear news about the baby and her health I would always be thinking of this mother. I taught women’s bible study at this time and was always sharing my thoughts about this mother. The night we got the call that she was in labor I was so excited, I prayed and asked God to just guide us through this, knowing what her body was going through at such a young age. I felt the Lord telling me to buy her a watch, to tell her everything is in God’s timing.
During all this we got a call from dfs asking us to take a drug bi-racial baby girl, I told them that with the adoption day so close that we could not, but I had a friend she could call and ask. With no doubt my friends the Paulsen’s took this baby girl.
We went the next morning to visit “our” baby, as beautiful as she was my attention was on this mother, she seemed happy that we were there, she wanted us to hold the baby whole time, she wanted us to have the gifts she had been given, “after all she is yours” she said, what an adult thing to say at such a young age. Our court date was 48 hours later.
The next day was Mason’s field trip with his class and I was a parent helping with this outing. On the way to the fieldtrip I got a call from the lighthouse, I could not hear due to kids on the bus, so I texted Jamie told him to call them and my heart immediately began to pound, like I had already ran a marathon, like something was wrong I could sense it, all the way to the location I fought back tears, faking the emotions til I heard the final word. I was telling Jamie that if this was not going through I was done, I would not pursue anymore adoptions, and that my heart would be too broken. I got the call after the trip that I knew in my heart the whole day, the birth mom had NOT changed her mind, but a relative had convinced her she would regret giving her baby up. So less than 24 hours before calling her ours, we were saying goodbye. Jamie and I had to pack up and get out; it was already raining in our hearts, now it was raining outside. We looked into just going to St.Louis or even to the Omaha zoo, forecast…rain and rain. Most of the phone calls I got that day I ignored, I know all of you meant well, but to tell you the truth it hurt too much keep talking about it, I did not recognize the next number that called ,but I answered it anyways, it was my friend Melissa, she asked what she could do, I told her the story and that we were just trying to escape for right now but all the weather was not helping us decide where to go, she put me on hold and came back with another person on the line, this person was a travel agent. Melissa told her to send 3 to wherever it was warm and sunny; the travel agent said “oh course, when we are going?” Melissa said “today”. The agent was shocked and said umm ok let me see what I can do. How about Clearwater Fl, “great Melissa said” when does there flight leave?, in 3 hours. I don’t say Melissa’s name to give her the credit, because she boldly told me God had asked her to do this and she was being obedient, so thank you Melissa for being obedient and thank you God for sending her to us.
While we were in FL we visited an aquarium, this aquarium takes ocean animals that have been hurt, they keep them there and nurse them back to health and set them free, but if they are not able to go back to the wild they put them in tanks for people to come learn about them, we arrived very early one day when I noticed a lady working with a dolphin. I was intrigued by this dolphin; she looked like she was smiling. There was a man who worked there and told me to come on past the black rope, this rope is to keep guest at a distance from the animals, but he had asked me to come across it, he told me this story of this dolphin who was caught in a net and her tail was unable to be saved, they call her “winter” she has a prosthetic tail to help her swim, most of the time she swims without it, but what brought tears to my eyes , is when he said “yep amazing when life throws you off a path how you can still get right back up and keep on going” We came home refreshed and once again, ready to finish out this race. I prayed that night, Lord even in this storm I will chose your way, for I know your way is better than mine. We came home from that trip “healed” by the Holy Spirit. We now know that we were showing this young mother God’s love.
Now this little foster baby that the Paulsen got was now in their care and we would do respite for them from time to time, when they would go out of town or when he daughter had her baby.
Here s what I wrote on my blog may 16th 2010. We also got to foster Leila this weekend, she is so sweet. She is the baby that dfs called us to take a few months back and we passed her onto Kay and Mike, thinking that we would be getting our own child soon. Anyways, it was awesome having her here, and I got to dress her up in a cute dress for church and of course not without a cute flower in her hair around her head band, Jamie says she is alot like him right now, follicle challenged...lolAt the end of lunch I was kissing Leila goodbye and Kay asked if we would keep Leila for 4-6 weeks starting in June? I looked at Jamie and he said "sure"Kay is going to have foot surgery and will be down for awhile (keep her in your prayers)so we will get to have her a lot of this summer. I told Jamie the hardest thing for me lately was to walk into the baby room and open the closet and see all those cute girl outfits I had, and no one to put them on. I have this tiny swimsuit that has a puffy pineapple on it.Well God already knew that Leila would be here and she wears the size of all those cute outfits.Sammie came and gave her a kiss on the forehead today and said, "can't we just keep her?"I said, "I hope so"So pray for Leila, her future with us and the Paulsen's is unsure, but God knows, so we can stand on that promise.I say all this to let you know, that through the rain and darkness there is happiness. God is in the small stuff too ya know?The other night when it stormed, Mason called me into his room and said "mommy I'm scared, what if it floods?"I asked him what Jesus said about the flood. He said "he promised it would never flood again and he sends a rainbow to remind us of that promise"I promise all you believers out there, I see a rainbow, It is merciful and just, rest on His promise and he will sing praises over you. Good night and God Bless
We were to get her the day we came back from vacation. We were driving back when I got a call from Kay, our phones where cutting in and out, but could hear Kay was crying, what’s wrong I asked? She had been praying and knows that God has told her to ask us to keep her full time. You see if you have a foster baby in your home for more than 15 months and they come up for adoption you get preference, if they are not in your home, your name may or may not go in the pot to be picked as her adoptive family.
Some have asked, well how did she get that nickname…Peanut?, well we noticed her head was misshaped , big in the back, small in the front, kinda like a “peanut”.
Another post from me on May 26th 2010
WE were asked today to take on a foster baby full time (this is a sweet foster baby that we love)She was suppose to be coming really for the summer so her foster mom could recover from foot surgery, but after a teary phone call, her and her husband have felt lead to ask us to take her.This little one is not up for adoption, she is still in foster care, and so that means her future to us is a big question mark??This scares Jamie and I," what if she stays for a year, then we have to give her back?""What if she stays 6 months and they pick another family to adopt her??"These are fears of ours, and I know I could rack my brain with these questions, but really if I'm thinking of her only, she needs us now, I will always remember what God has told me..." love them and teach them to bond" we cannot say no because of a fear can we??What if we would have said no to Mason because they told us he had fetal alcohol syndrome, look what we would have missed?
Last night we had a meeting with alot of the people that are involved in our adoption concert.It went great! I can't believe we are running this race, and praising our savior the whole way through.I think it is by no mistake that Jamie and I have been running lately. (Jamie can run alot farther than me),weird to think he was the man who weighed 355lbs, is now a better runner than I.This is a verse that God gave me at WBS one morning,Hebrews 12:1Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and sin that so easily ensnares us, and RUN the race that lies before us.All I can say after that is AMENHave a blessed weekend :) may 23rd
There have been some amazing God things happen with her, despite all her drug and alcohol exposure she has been doing great. She also has hydrocephalous which is water on the brain, the dr at children’s mercy have released her from her checkups at this time, saying she is progressing normally. We have had many court trials where mom was angry and fighting the system saying she wanted her children back, all I could do was pray for her. I prayed that her mom would get well, I prayed that her mom would see the best for her daughter, well God answered that prayer at a meeting we had with the mother and a mediator. On this day Jamie and I were so nervous. This was a meeting without a judge or lawyers; this was just us, her and the mediator. I was shocked to hear the change in her voice, she was thankful for us and knew that we had come to love her daughter; she gave permission that day to let us adopt her little girl. The mother then asked” can I hug the foster mom?, I said of course and could not get out of my chair fast enough to embrace this women who had made a choice that was going to affect all of our lives. While we hugged she asked me to protect her little girl and to tell her that her mommy loves her so much, I said I promise.
We got a phone call that we would be adopting her sometime in November, but that soon changed, our lawyer called back and said the date had been changed, to what? I said. Dec 22nd 2011 10 am. For those who don’t know we adopted Mason on dec 24th 2003 at 10am, so
Marlie Claire McCain who was born on Jan 28th 2010,and was adopted on Dec 22nd, 2011
You see this race has been a test of faith, it is being sure of what we had hoped for, but did not see.
1 Corinthians 9:24 says
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
The Prize my friends is everlasting life with our Heavenly Father, he is in love with you and he wants you to seek him. So put on your running shoes, you never know when God will ask you to go for a run.
Thank you.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Short post today as I'm running out the door to go work out with my hubby at the gym.
Today I have been praying healing over my best friends husband, his name is Kevin and has been in the hospital since last wed, first in the ICU for a few days and now in a regular room. He needs your prayers for healing. This verse was brought to me by the Lord "Heal me of Lord and I shall be healed,save me and I shall be saved, for you are my praise" Jer 14:17.
As we are getting ready to sing for this Marlie celebration I have had some struggles, small and big, but today God reminded me to praise him anyways, that he has brought us thru and that he will receive the glory today and everyday from me for what he has and going to do in my life. I have to not think about what others may say or think, just praise him and he will be happy with the obedience . I pray today and every day to be a devoted follower who will unashamedly bear as his witness.
"blessed are those who keep his testimonies , who seek him with their whole heart" Psalm 119:2
We have too many lukewarm Christians, we are like manuere I once heard, put us in a pile, we stink, spread us out, we will make something grow.
So go out there today and live out loud for Christ, he deserves nothing but our best!!!
Love you
Today I have been praying healing over my best friends husband, his name is Kevin and has been in the hospital since last wed, first in the ICU for a few days and now in a regular room. He needs your prayers for healing. This verse was brought to me by the Lord "Heal me of Lord and I shall be healed,save me and I shall be saved, for you are my praise" Jer 14:17.
As we are getting ready to sing for this Marlie celebration I have had some struggles, small and big, but today God reminded me to praise him anyways, that he has brought us thru and that he will receive the glory today and everyday from me for what he has and going to do in my life. I have to not think about what others may say or think, just praise him and he will be happy with the obedience . I pray today and every day to be a devoted follower who will unashamedly bear as his witness.
"blessed are those who keep his testimonies , who seek him with their whole heart" Psalm 119:2
We have too many lukewarm Christians, we are like manuere I once heard, put us in a pile, we stink, spread us out, we will make something grow.
So go out there today and live out loud for Christ, he deserves nothing but our best!!!
Love you
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I can not believe we are almost there, this Thursday we will be adopting Marlie McCain, who knew that 2 years after hearing the calling to adopt again, that the Lord perfectly had planned out that it would be Dec 22, 2011 at 10 am. For those who don't know, we adopted Mason on Dec 24th, 2003 at 10am. Kinda sweet huh? I want to say thank you to all who have prayed us through this, we are grateful and thankful that God placed all of you in our lives at this time.
I was in the middle of my quiet time today, when God spoke to me and told me to fill you in on his word today, you never know maybe it's what you need to hear right now.
Jamie has been applying for Police officer jobs for about 6 months or so. He has felt like the Lord wants him to make a career change. There is no reason for Jamie to want to be a cop, he just feels it in his heart. He has boldly done what the Father has asked him to do, regardless of the negative words that have come his way about changing jobs.
He has many test this week with a local police dept here,he was talking to one of the lieutenants earlier this week and telling him about the pay scale. While Jamie is in training he will be taking a large pay cut from what he makes at Fox 4, now I know that many people think it's not ok to talk about how much people make or the financial difficulties people have. It makes you feel sorry for those struggling, you are glad you can just walk away and know your bills are paid and you go about "your" life. I'm here to tell you what the Lord has said, because I was struggling the last couple days with holding onto "our" money. We tithe and we give to the moving forward budget, I buy things for the needy, we even adopted a girl in Africa to take care of her while she attends school. We could go out to eat when we want, with just a little savings we could go on a cruise or just have a mini vacation., but.....I started looking at the budget this week and starting to worry about money, how we would make it while Jamie was in school. I know it would be short lived, but yikes.
In God's word it tells us,
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version
how can I look at the word of God and not soak it in?, because the numbers are not adding up that's why,and we live in a world of keeping up with the jones', that's why.
Friends, this is our Heavenly Father's word, his promise to us, that no matter what, Phi.4:19 - God shall supply all your need according to His riches.his riches , not mine or yours!
So now that it has sunk in, here is what happen.
The day I was worrying, I opened our Bank account to see that I was paid $200 from my holiday lia sophia show. God was there, saying, SEE........
Then yesterday I was visiting with a friend via email, asking her budget questions, she is a numbers girl ;)
So, I'm starting to feel better, numbers will come and it will be tough, but finally I'm started to breathe a little easier and starting to lean back and feel God's presence. Today I open up my email, which has a daily devotional already sent. TITLE :LET MONEY GO.
HA!! ok, Lord thank you for slapping me in the face today, this am while I was praying I asked God to come closer to me than ever before, I could actually see the wrinkles in his hands today (yes he had wrinkles, maybe more creases than wrinkles ) LOL
I just prayed that he would speak to me today in his way and in his timing.
Good timing Lord and good subject.
So, as I finish up here. I know we are already onto another chapter on Faith.
Hebrews 11
Faith in Action 1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I hope this too has blessed you today as it has me.
In Him
Shelley
I was in the middle of my quiet time today, when God spoke to me and told me to fill you in on his word today, you never know maybe it's what you need to hear right now.
Jamie has been applying for Police officer jobs for about 6 months or so. He has felt like the Lord wants him to make a career change. There is no reason for Jamie to want to be a cop, he just feels it in his heart. He has boldly done what the Father has asked him to do, regardless of the negative words that have come his way about changing jobs.
He has many test this week with a local police dept here,he was talking to one of the lieutenants earlier this week and telling him about the pay scale. While Jamie is in training he will be taking a large pay cut from what he makes at Fox 4, now I know that many people think it's not ok to talk about how much people make or the financial difficulties people have. It makes you feel sorry for those struggling, you are glad you can just walk away and know your bills are paid and you go about "your" life. I'm here to tell you what the Lord has said, because I was struggling the last couple days with holding onto "our" money. We tithe and we give to the moving forward budget, I buy things for the needy, we even adopted a girl in Africa to take care of her while she attends school. We could go out to eat when we want, with just a little savings we could go on a cruise or just have a mini vacation., but.....I started looking at the budget this week and starting to worry about money, how we would make it while Jamie was in school. I know it would be short lived, but yikes.
In God's word it tells us,
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version
how can I look at the word of God and not soak it in?, because the numbers are not adding up that's why,and we live in a world of keeping up with the jones', that's why.
Friends, this is our Heavenly Father's word, his promise to us, that no matter what, Phi.4:19 - God shall supply all your need according to His riches.his riches , not mine or yours!
So now that it has sunk in, here is what happen.
The day I was worrying, I opened our Bank account to see that I was paid $200 from my holiday lia sophia show. God was there, saying, SEE........
Then yesterday I was visiting with a friend via email, asking her budget questions, she is a numbers girl ;)
So, I'm starting to feel better, numbers will come and it will be tough, but finally I'm started to breathe a little easier and starting to lean back and feel God's presence. Today I open up my email, which has a daily devotional already sent. TITLE :LET MONEY GO.
HA!! ok, Lord thank you for slapping me in the face today, this am while I was praying I asked God to come closer to me than ever before, I could actually see the wrinkles in his hands today (yes he had wrinkles, maybe more creases than wrinkles ) LOL
I just prayed that he would speak to me today in his way and in his timing.
Good timing Lord and good subject.
So, as I finish up here. I know we are already onto another chapter on Faith.
Hebrews 11
Faith in Action 1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I hope this too has blessed you today as it has me.
In Him
Shelley
Monday, November 21, 2011
A word from the Lord
God spoke to me today and I wanted to share with you.
Jamie for some time now has felt the Lord pushing him to re-direct his career. He has worked at fox 4 for 12 years, but the Lord has been tuggin' at his heart and felt the need to follow where God was leading him (good choice, always)
He has had a lot of interviews, all with police departments. He even flew to Texas, only for God to show him the answer to that was NO.
Makes me think how far will I travel if God told me to do so? How far would you? Would you pack up your family and leave if God boldly told you to do so? Well if you are wondering what we would do, of course we would!!! Any where Lord at anytime!
Jamie has not got the most positive responses from family when following this path, my mom said she felt bad when he came home from TX, knowing he got cut the 1st round. He did not even get through to the 2nd chance. My mom said, "Shelley, I feel bad, I prayed he would not get it"
Trust me, I'm confident if the Lord wanted Jamie to have that job, he would make a way.(song time) he will make a way, when there seems to be no way,he works in ways we can not see, he will make a way for me!
So today Jamie is in his 3rd interview with the Blue Springs Police Dept!!
I'm telling you all this now, knowing that he is in the interview, not that we don't think we need extra prayers for God's guidance, but because Jamie does not need any negative influence while entering into a job interview. He has had way too much of that.
He feels like even if God's answerer is no, this is what God is asking him to do, maybe having all the negative words and thoughts around him is also a test of faith. So, today I open my daily journal and this is what it says.
Leave the outcomes up to me. Follow me whereever I lead you, without worry and how it will turn out.Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your guide and companion. Live in the now,concertration on staying in step with me. When our path leads to a cliff, be willing to climb it with my help. When we come to a resting place, take time refreshen in My presence. Enjoy the rhythm of life lived close to me. You already know the ultimate destination of your journey, your entrance into Heaven. So keep your focus on the path just before you, leaving the outcomes up to Me!!
Psalm 27:14 wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Good stuff. I'm so proud to be married to a man, who despite what other's think or say. He will choose God's way. Friends, it's the ONLY way!!
love you all,
Shelley
God spoke to me today and I wanted to share with you.
Jamie for some time now has felt the Lord pushing him to re-direct his career. He has worked at fox 4 for 12 years, but the Lord has been tuggin' at his heart and felt the need to follow where God was leading him (good choice, always)
He has had a lot of interviews, all with police departments. He even flew to Texas, only for God to show him the answer to that was NO.
Makes me think how far will I travel if God told me to do so? How far would you? Would you pack up your family and leave if God boldly told you to do so? Well if you are wondering what we would do, of course we would!!! Any where Lord at anytime!
Jamie has not got the most positive responses from family when following this path, my mom said she felt bad when he came home from TX, knowing he got cut the 1st round. He did not even get through to the 2nd chance. My mom said, "Shelley, I feel bad, I prayed he would not get it"
Trust me, I'm confident if the Lord wanted Jamie to have that job, he would make a way.(song time) he will make a way, when there seems to be no way,he works in ways we can not see, he will make a way for me!
So today Jamie is in his 3rd interview with the Blue Springs Police Dept!!
I'm telling you all this now, knowing that he is in the interview, not that we don't think we need extra prayers for God's guidance, but because Jamie does not need any negative influence while entering into a job interview. He has had way too much of that.
He feels like even if God's answerer is no, this is what God is asking him to do, maybe having all the negative words and thoughts around him is also a test of faith. So, today I open my daily journal and this is what it says.
Leave the outcomes up to me. Follow me whereever I lead you, without worry and how it will turn out.Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your guide and companion. Live in the now,concertration on staying in step with me. When our path leads to a cliff, be willing to climb it with my help. When we come to a resting place, take time refreshen in My presence. Enjoy the rhythm of life lived close to me. You already know the ultimate destination of your journey, your entrance into Heaven. So keep your focus on the path just before you, leaving the outcomes up to Me!!
Psalm 27:14 wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Good stuff. I'm so proud to be married to a man, who despite what other's think or say. He will choose God's way. Friends, it's the ONLY way!!
love you all,
Shelley
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Just thought I would share....
In my last blog I shared with you how I pray every morning as my brain is barley awake. I have been doing that, but the last few days I have been forcing even the thoughts to pray. I'm not mad or have any negative thoughts, I think my mind has been on full force and as soon as my eyes pop open, my daily list starts going through my head. I know all of you know exactly how I feel. So, I'm praying but other earthly things are going on in the back round. Yesterday I apologised to the Lord. I told him I knew I was distracted and I wanted to focus on him, I even tried praying 3 or 4 times and every time, some list popped in my head "can't forget to make Mason a hair appt", don't forget the diaper bag today....I was frustrated with myself, for letting this "crap" get in the way of my pray time with the Lord. I was so busy at work yesterday I did not even get to open my daily devotional book, I mean come on it's one page to read and like 4 verses to look up.
When I read and look up those verses, I don't want to read it like a robot, I like to drink it in and focus on them for a moment. So I did not, so this am I made it a priority to read what he had to say to me. I thought, well I will go ahead and read yesterday's too, since I did not have time today.
Here is what is said.
DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED by the difficulty of keeping your focus on me. I know that in your heart's desire is to be aware of my presence continually. This is a lofty goal;you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself the way I see you. First of all, I'm delighted by your deep desire to walk closely to me through your life. I'm pleased each time you initiate communication with me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in my presence.
When you realize that your mind has wandered away from me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you.
Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with me, you achieve a victory. Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light up your days.
I love it when God comes down, whispers right into your ear exactly what you need to hear. Thank you Lord for reminding me that you see me with your eyes, and yes Lord I do have the deepiest desire to walk closer to you. I want to do your will only, this earth and all the "stuff" in it gets in the way so many times. Won't you please fill me with your wisdom, please remind me to take quiet moments to reflect on you and your peace that you provide everytime I am in need. Lord I love you more than my words can express, I can only fathm how much you love us with your agape love, please bless all my friends and family , keep us healtly and safe as we journey through this day. In your name -Amen
In my last blog I shared with you how I pray every morning as my brain is barley awake. I have been doing that, but the last few days I have been forcing even the thoughts to pray. I'm not mad or have any negative thoughts, I think my mind has been on full force and as soon as my eyes pop open, my daily list starts going through my head. I know all of you know exactly how I feel. So, I'm praying but other earthly things are going on in the back round. Yesterday I apologised to the Lord. I told him I knew I was distracted and I wanted to focus on him, I even tried praying 3 or 4 times and every time, some list popped in my head "can't forget to make Mason a hair appt", don't forget the diaper bag today....I was frustrated with myself, for letting this "crap" get in the way of my pray time with the Lord. I was so busy at work yesterday I did not even get to open my daily devotional book, I mean come on it's one page to read and like 4 verses to look up.
When I read and look up those verses, I don't want to read it like a robot, I like to drink it in and focus on them for a moment. So I did not, so this am I made it a priority to read what he had to say to me. I thought, well I will go ahead and read yesterday's too, since I did not have time today.
Here is what is said.
DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED by the difficulty of keeping your focus on me. I know that in your heart's desire is to be aware of my presence continually. This is a lofty goal;you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself the way I see you. First of all, I'm delighted by your deep desire to walk closely to me through your life. I'm pleased each time you initiate communication with me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in my presence.
When you realize that your mind has wandered away from me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you.
Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with me, you achieve a victory. Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light up your days.
I love it when God comes down, whispers right into your ear exactly what you need to hear. Thank you Lord for reminding me that you see me with your eyes, and yes Lord I do have the deepiest desire to walk closer to you. I want to do your will only, this earth and all the "stuff" in it gets in the way so many times. Won't you please fill me with your wisdom, please remind me to take quiet moments to reflect on you and your peace that you provide everytime I am in need. Lord I love you more than my words can express, I can only fathm how much you love us with your agape love, please bless all my friends and family , keep us healtly and safe as we journey through this day. In your name -Amen
Friday, October 28, 2011
Did you ever think that God speaking could come in so many different ways?
When I see a beautiful sunset, I think him for the warmth of the sun, knowing he sent it to say good morning to me. Every time I see a rainbow I immediately think about his promise to Noah, that he will never flood the earth again. God speaks to us in so many different ways, we just have to be first, tuned into him and the Holy Spirit, and second not being so busy that we miss what he has sent us.
Everyday before I open my eyes, I tell the Lord to use me today. I ask him that I want to be the fruit at the end of the vine, shining for those who don't believe.
When I get to work I have a daily devotional that I do, usually just a page, I look up a few scriptures that are in the devotional. Throughout the day I try in my human way to stay connected to him,you know when you were younger and your mom told you to check in? She wanted you to call to make sure you were ok?. Back then we had to either be at someones house to call to check in , or have change for the $.35 it cost to use a pay phone. I think God is our Father asking us to do the same thing, best part no change and don't have to be at a friends house. We can call him up anytime and talk.
So yesterday when I awoke I said my same prayer as I rose out of bed, but since I was not at work I forgot to bring my devotional home. I did not even remember til God spoke to me this evening. I just went about my day running errands,cleaning the house, going to the store.
I did thank him when I went outside with the puppy, just thankful for the day with my kids and that I was not outside potty training this puppy in the SNOW! Other than that I was flying solo.
Well this is the part I get to tell you about God Speaking.
Jamie and Mason headed to his football practice and Marlie and I to the grocery store.
I was doing her WIC shopping. As a foster baby she gets WIC, all of our babies do. I think it's get that they help us out while caring for these little ones. I often say, she has felt like our own for so long, we should not qualify, but they just keep giving us the coupons. I also have mixed feelings when I go to the store to get these items. I know I can afford the foods, but you know you have judged someone with WIC, or maybe even felt sorry for them. They have to only get these certain items, they take a lot longer in line, cuz they have to scan every item sign for it...blah blah blah. I've seen a lady get all her WIC then buy with her own money beer and cigarettes. I judged her, why can't she put back that stuff and then she would have money to feed her own kids, right?
Well that was a long time ago and now I know who am I to judge her? Maybe her husband beats her, if she does not come home with those items? What if she has such a horrible life that a cigarette and a beer gets her through the day? I'm not her, I've never walked in her shoes, so now I just mind my own business!!
The looks you get while there is a long line behind you can feel like lasers in the back of your head. People are judging you most of the time. A lot of times I have Marlie and Mason who are great distractions, but sometimes not.
Well last night it was just Marlie and me (that's a book, right? LOL)
Marlie gets $6 worth of fruits and vegetables, if there is nothing fresh on sale I grab frozen, but a lot was on sale yesterday in the fresh section. So I have to use my math skills here, you can not go over the $6 for any reason. So I grab 2 pineapples which are $2 each, while standing there a lady comes up, she ask are these ripe. I said yes, they need to be eaten now, but I told her with my fruits and veggies that are going bad, I throw in my juicer and how much Marlie enjoys the juice from the juicer so much better that that store made stuff. She said, oh really, I have a juicer and have not used it in over a year. Thanks, you have motivated me to break it out and use it again. I encouraged her and told her how well I feel when I use it. We then separated and walked to different isles. I was then headed for the bananas, I can not just pick up a bundle, I have to weigh them and see how many I can get, well Marlie got 3 bananas. As I was weighing them a man with his little girl in the cart says to his little girl. Leila say hi to the little girl, speaking about Marlie. Marlie and Leila both were, hi, hi, hi , hi.....chatter chatter, who knows what they were saying. I then said, did you say her name was Leila? He said yes. I went on to tell him that name would always be special for us, for that was her name when she came into to our foster care. I told him we were adopting her and changed it to Marlie. He smiled and said that's a good name too. So not 5 minutes into my journey at the Price Chopper and I was about to cry, her name is Leila, they could have just walked on by and grabbed their bananas,but did not. God Speaking?, I think so.
Down every isle, my little wal mart greeter is saying, HI to every person she passes. If you did not hear her on the first HI,she gets louder and loUDER while waving now at you. HI HI (WAVE WAVE WAVE) All of them wave and day hi back while always smiling back at her, either a "how cute" or "she is so sweet". Maybe this time God is using her to brighten someone's day. Everyone she said hi to was not smiling til after she got their attention. Most of the trip was her waving, yelling HI, me making sure I got the right item on the list at the right weight, right brand, right everything.
We get over to the cheeses and there is Leila with her dad again. I said "Marlie look it's your friend Leila" she looks wave and says "Leila" or in her voice it was "Lay- wah"
We headed to the check out, where a young man checked us through while a older lady sacked our groceries. The man behind us in line immediately said "your little girl is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen" I said thanks and I was signing all the paperwork as he rang up our items. A conversation was taking place between the man behind me in line, the cashier and the lady sacking the groceries. From the man in line, they all came to find out that she was our foster baby and that we were adopting her. The cashier next to us said, oh really?
So the whole front of the store is talking about Marlie now. How we got her, how are we foster parents, how can we say goodbye to some of the babies.....ect ect ect.
The sacker tells us she lived in 4 foster homes, before someone took her in to adopt her. The cashier next to me says she got pregnant at 15 and thought about adoption, her little girl is now 2, she is working full time and going to school part time to care for her little girl. The cashier is just amazed by all the stories and ask, what makes someone want to do something like this?
I said, my husband and I really feel like this is what God has asked us to do, this is our gift. The sackers jaw dropped, he smiled in recognition and the man behind us says, well that just great.
The cashier next to us smiles and nods. I go on to tell them that we adopted our son on Dec 24th and she would be adopted on Dec 22. Marlie is still at this time, charming everyone around her. The man behind me says, well she sure is a special little girl then. I said yes and started to push my cart to the exit. I make it all the way to the car load the groceries and sit down to start the car, while my eyes fill with tears, I know that God was all around us in the store, using us to share God's love. He showed me in every step of the store how he was setting it up. So as I finish up this blog, read through the words to this song, it talks about how God speaking came come from any where. Love you all !!
When I see a beautiful sunset, I think him for the warmth of the sun, knowing he sent it to say good morning to me. Every time I see a rainbow I immediately think about his promise to Noah, that he will never flood the earth again. God speaks to us in so many different ways, we just have to be first, tuned into him and the Holy Spirit, and second not being so busy that we miss what he has sent us.
Everyday before I open my eyes, I tell the Lord to use me today. I ask him that I want to be the fruit at the end of the vine, shining for those who don't believe.
When I get to work I have a daily devotional that I do, usually just a page, I look up a few scriptures that are in the devotional. Throughout the day I try in my human way to stay connected to him,you know when you were younger and your mom told you to check in? She wanted you to call to make sure you were ok?. Back then we had to either be at someones house to call to check in , or have change for the $.35 it cost to use a pay phone. I think God is our Father asking us to do the same thing, best part no change and don't have to be at a friends house. We can call him up anytime and talk.
So yesterday when I awoke I said my same prayer as I rose out of bed, but since I was not at work I forgot to bring my devotional home. I did not even remember til God spoke to me this evening. I just went about my day running errands,cleaning the house, going to the store.
I did thank him when I went outside with the puppy, just thankful for the day with my kids and that I was not outside potty training this puppy in the SNOW! Other than that I was flying solo.
Well this is the part I get to tell you about God Speaking.
Jamie and Mason headed to his football practice and Marlie and I to the grocery store.
I was doing her WIC shopping. As a foster baby she gets WIC, all of our babies do. I think it's get that they help us out while caring for these little ones. I often say, she has felt like our own for so long, we should not qualify, but they just keep giving us the coupons. I also have mixed feelings when I go to the store to get these items. I know I can afford the foods, but you know you have judged someone with WIC, or maybe even felt sorry for them. They have to only get these certain items, they take a lot longer in line, cuz they have to scan every item sign for it...blah blah blah. I've seen a lady get all her WIC then buy with her own money beer and cigarettes. I judged her, why can't she put back that stuff and then she would have money to feed her own kids, right?
Well that was a long time ago and now I know who am I to judge her? Maybe her husband beats her, if she does not come home with those items? What if she has such a horrible life that a cigarette and a beer gets her through the day? I'm not her, I've never walked in her shoes, so now I just mind my own business!!
The looks you get while there is a long line behind you can feel like lasers in the back of your head. People are judging you most of the time. A lot of times I have Marlie and Mason who are great distractions, but sometimes not.
Well last night it was just Marlie and me (that's a book, right? LOL)
Marlie gets $6 worth of fruits and vegetables, if there is nothing fresh on sale I grab frozen, but a lot was on sale yesterday in the fresh section. So I have to use my math skills here, you can not go over the $6 for any reason. So I grab 2 pineapples which are $2 each, while standing there a lady comes up, she ask are these ripe. I said yes, they need to be eaten now, but I told her with my fruits and veggies that are going bad, I throw in my juicer and how much Marlie enjoys the juice from the juicer so much better that that store made stuff. She said, oh really, I have a juicer and have not used it in over a year. Thanks, you have motivated me to break it out and use it again. I encouraged her and told her how well I feel when I use it. We then separated and walked to different isles. I was then headed for the bananas, I can not just pick up a bundle, I have to weigh them and see how many I can get, well Marlie got 3 bananas. As I was weighing them a man with his little girl in the cart says to his little girl. Leila say hi to the little girl, speaking about Marlie. Marlie and Leila both were, hi, hi, hi , hi.....chatter chatter, who knows what they were saying. I then said, did you say her name was Leila? He said yes. I went on to tell him that name would always be special for us, for that was her name when she came into to our foster care. I told him we were adopting her and changed it to Marlie. He smiled and said that's a good name too. So not 5 minutes into my journey at the Price Chopper and I was about to cry, her name is Leila, they could have just walked on by and grabbed their bananas,but did not. God Speaking?, I think so.
Down every isle, my little wal mart greeter is saying, HI to every person she passes. If you did not hear her on the first HI,she gets louder and loUDER while waving now at you. HI HI (WAVE WAVE WAVE) All of them wave and day hi back while always smiling back at her, either a "how cute" or "she is so sweet". Maybe this time God is using her to brighten someone's day. Everyone she said hi to was not smiling til after she got their attention. Most of the trip was her waving, yelling HI, me making sure I got the right item on the list at the right weight, right brand, right everything.
We get over to the cheeses and there is Leila with her dad again. I said "Marlie look it's your friend Leila" she looks wave and says "Leila" or in her voice it was "Lay- wah"
We headed to the check out, where a young man checked us through while a older lady sacked our groceries. The man behind us in line immediately said "your little girl is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen" I said thanks and I was signing all the paperwork as he rang up our items. A conversation was taking place between the man behind me in line, the cashier and the lady sacking the groceries. From the man in line, they all came to find out that she was our foster baby and that we were adopting her. The cashier next to us said, oh really?
So the whole front of the store is talking about Marlie now. How we got her, how are we foster parents, how can we say goodbye to some of the babies.....ect ect ect.
The sacker tells us she lived in 4 foster homes, before someone took her in to adopt her. The cashier next to me says she got pregnant at 15 and thought about adoption, her little girl is now 2, she is working full time and going to school part time to care for her little girl. The cashier is just amazed by all the stories and ask, what makes someone want to do something like this?
I said, my husband and I really feel like this is what God has asked us to do, this is our gift. The sackers jaw dropped, he smiled in recognition and the man behind us says, well that just great.
The cashier next to us smiles and nods. I go on to tell them that we adopted our son on Dec 24th and she would be adopted on Dec 22. Marlie is still at this time, charming everyone around her. The man behind me says, well she sure is a special little girl then. I said yes and started to push my cart to the exit. I make it all the way to the car load the groceries and sit down to start the car, while my eyes fill with tears, I know that God was all around us in the store, using us to share God's love. He showed me in every step of the store how he was setting it up. So as I finish up this blog, read through the words to this song, it talks about how God speaking came come from any where. Love you all !!
Have you ever heard a love song
That set your spirit free
Have you ever watched a sunrise
And felt you could not breathe
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking
Have you ever cried a tear that
You could not explain
Have you ever met a stranger
That already knew your name
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking
Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us I love you
Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here
Do you know what it feels like
To be tangled up in fear
What if He's somehow involved
What if He's speaking through it all
His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger
Than God in a manger
God is speaking
I love you
Monday, October 17, 2011
Update on Marlie
Going through this the word says "that perseverance will bring character and integrity.”, not maybe the character God was hoping for....
We think that we are at the end of this journey, dfs told us we had just a few more forms to get filled out, a couple more visits and we even got a phone call from our lawyer that says we are on the court date for Nov 18th, to finalize this adoption!!
I know this is so 80's , but.............NOT!!
Jamie and I worked our tails off to get all the paper work signed. Marlie had to have a full health evaluation done. They wanted her to be seen for a well child check up as well as visit her neurologist to get a medical update. Well they gave us a whole 2 weeks to get this done, it is hard enough to get into a regular dr for a well check up, but they want us to see a neurologist "just because", sure I'm sure he will drop all his patience having seizures and with brain cancer to see us...again NOT. Her appt for them is November 30th.
I called her primary dr and told her that we were needing a dr note stating if they think she may be a medical baby or if she thinks she will be fine down the road. You see if they sign she is a medical baby, the state will provide us with any needs that may come arise in her near future, if they sign she is no longer a medical baby, they will not.
This dr said to come in and she would fill it out and sign it, she got us in her office in 3 days and sign the paper work the next day, thank you Dr Dean :)
Marlie has not been a patient of hers for long, so all she knows is by what she is seeing now, she said that Marlie is right on track for everything she needs to be doing, she even said her speech is 15 to 20 words above most children at that age, which we think is cute, cuz when she says funny things in her own way,it's hysterical. She says, tut shoes "cute shoes" and may men "amen", just sweet.
Anyways the dr signed for her to continue on the medical baby form, she not knowing what may come arise in her near future. This form is for 2 years, so after being evaluated after 2 years she can be taken off.
Dr.Dean says she does not want her to have the lable of a "drug exposed,fetal alcohol syndrome" if she does no longer have it. (now there is another miracle right there) I have a son who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and is fine, thanks to prayer, now I have a daughter who is has healed too....thank you Jesus for your mercy and answer to prayer.
So, this paper work is signed and at the dr office on Tuesday, I called dfs on Tuesday and also emailed our worker the same day. No response, called and emailed everyone I knew on Wed, no response, on Thursday I got an email from what I thought was our worker, she forwarded the email onto the new worker and that she was no longer on this case.....ahhhgggg.
This worker called me on Friday, this is the day all our paper work has to be submitted to the state!!!
She calls me, we meet in a gas station parking lot to sign papers, Jamie meets her at her office after getting off work to sign the rest. Then I get the call that about sends me through the roof, she calls and tells me that all the paper work was suppose to be in Jeff city this day, not just mailed...WHAT?????
Ok, well my part has been done and taking care of since Monday, it could have been there by now, if you would have called me back! So she makes a few phone calls and says it can be there no later than Tuesday.
She knows regular mail won't make it, I said ok, let's over night it, "well we can do that , she says, but I can't pay for that, they wont reimburse me". I said I will pay for it , I just want it there on time!!
So, I go to the post office, pay 20 bucks for a few pieces of paper to be shipped to Jefferson City, when I hear what I can not believe. The worker tells me that they wanted a letter from the dr saying why they signed her as a medical baby. Did I hear her right? UMMM she signed it because you have been calling her a medical baby since she has been in dfs custody?, duh!
So no, there is not a letter from the dr in that packet. At this point, I'm about to explode, I let myself take over and not at all ask God for some help. I was "ON" as my sweet husband puts it.
So, when I finally threw my hands up in the air, with "well it's sent so if it all gets sent back and we have to do it all over again, I guess that is what we will do, (insert a big sigh here)
I was driving in my car headed home when my "revolve" cd was playing and on came Britt Nicole. I have heard and sang this song a million times, but it was today that while I sang it I cried,asking God to forgive me for letting my earthly body mind and voice take over. I will post the words below, but you won't get the true meaning unless you youtube it. Britt Nicole,"have it your way" I then right there, let it go. I surrender to the Lord this day, I sang to the Lord "have it your way" I know God has known the date of her adoption forever, so why am I worrying about it? Well, today I can tell you I'm not. He has got this as he has had all the other things, I have fully given him.
So what is it today that you need to give to him?, give it to him fully.Give it to him fully, know he is closer to you than the air you breathe. He has got you and your situation in the palm of your hand and in HIS timing he will show up and bless your socks off.
In Him
Shelley
Feels like i`ve been here forever,
Why can`t you just intervene?
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And i`m falling apart at the seams.
But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn`t hard,
But you promised you`d take care of me.
So I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And I`ll trust you,God, with where i am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
When my friends and my family have left me,
And I feel so ashamed and so cold.
Remind me that you take broken things
And turn them into beautiful.
So I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,
And believe that you`ll have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
Even if my dreams have died,
And even if i don`t survive,
I`ll still worship you with all my life.
My life.
Whoa-oh..
And I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
I know you will.
I won`t forget.
Whoa-oh
You love me.
Have your way.
Yeah
Going through this the word says "that perseverance will bring character and integrity.”, not maybe the character God was hoping for....
We think that we are at the end of this journey, dfs told us we had just a few more forms to get filled out, a couple more visits and we even got a phone call from our lawyer that says we are on the court date for Nov 18th, to finalize this adoption!!
I know this is so 80's , but.............NOT!!
Jamie and I worked our tails off to get all the paper work signed. Marlie had to have a full health evaluation done. They wanted her to be seen for a well child check up as well as visit her neurologist to get a medical update. Well they gave us a whole 2 weeks to get this done, it is hard enough to get into a regular dr for a well check up, but they want us to see a neurologist "just because", sure I'm sure he will drop all his patience having seizures and with brain cancer to see us...again NOT. Her appt for them is November 30th.
I called her primary dr and told her that we were needing a dr note stating if they think she may be a medical baby or if she thinks she will be fine down the road. You see if they sign she is a medical baby, the state will provide us with any needs that may come arise in her near future, if they sign she is no longer a medical baby, they will not.
This dr said to come in and she would fill it out and sign it, she got us in her office in 3 days and sign the paper work the next day, thank you Dr Dean :)
Marlie has not been a patient of hers for long, so all she knows is by what she is seeing now, she said that Marlie is right on track for everything she needs to be doing, she even said her speech is 15 to 20 words above most children at that age, which we think is cute, cuz when she says funny things in her own way,it's hysterical. She says, tut shoes "cute shoes" and may men "amen", just sweet.
Anyways the dr signed for her to continue on the medical baby form, she not knowing what may come arise in her near future. This form is for 2 years, so after being evaluated after 2 years she can be taken off.
Dr.Dean says she does not want her to have the lable of a "drug exposed,fetal alcohol syndrome" if she does no longer have it. (now there is another miracle right there) I have a son who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and is fine, thanks to prayer, now I have a daughter who is has healed too....thank you Jesus for your mercy and answer to prayer.
So, this paper work is signed and at the dr office on Tuesday, I called dfs on Tuesday and also emailed our worker the same day. No response, called and emailed everyone I knew on Wed, no response, on Thursday I got an email from what I thought was our worker, she forwarded the email onto the new worker and that she was no longer on this case.....ahhhgggg.
This worker called me on Friday, this is the day all our paper work has to be submitted to the state!!!
She calls me, we meet in a gas station parking lot to sign papers, Jamie meets her at her office after getting off work to sign the rest. Then I get the call that about sends me through the roof, she calls and tells me that all the paper work was suppose to be in Jeff city this day, not just mailed...WHAT?????
Ok, well my part has been done and taking care of since Monday, it could have been there by now, if you would have called me back! So she makes a few phone calls and says it can be there no later than Tuesday.
She knows regular mail won't make it, I said ok, let's over night it, "well we can do that , she says, but I can't pay for that, they wont reimburse me". I said I will pay for it , I just want it there on time!!
So, I go to the post office, pay 20 bucks for a few pieces of paper to be shipped to Jefferson City, when I hear what I can not believe. The worker tells me that they wanted a letter from the dr saying why they signed her as a medical baby. Did I hear her right? UMMM she signed it because you have been calling her a medical baby since she has been in dfs custody?, duh!
So no, there is not a letter from the dr in that packet. At this point, I'm about to explode, I let myself take over and not at all ask God for some help. I was "ON" as my sweet husband puts it.
So, when I finally threw my hands up in the air, with "well it's sent so if it all gets sent back and we have to do it all over again, I guess that is what we will do, (insert a big sigh here)
I was driving in my car headed home when my "revolve" cd was playing and on came Britt Nicole. I have heard and sang this song a million times, but it was today that while I sang it I cried,asking God to forgive me for letting my earthly body mind and voice take over. I will post the words below, but you won't get the true meaning unless you youtube it. Britt Nicole,"have it your way" I then right there, let it go. I surrender to the Lord this day, I sang to the Lord "have it your way" I know God has known the date of her adoption forever, so why am I worrying about it? Well, today I can tell you I'm not. He has got this as he has had all the other things, I have fully given him.
So what is it today that you need to give to him?, give it to him fully.Give it to him fully, know he is closer to you than the air you breathe. He has got you and your situation in the palm of your hand and in HIS timing he will show up and bless your socks off.
In Him
Shelley
Feels like i`ve been here forever,
Why can`t you just intervene?
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And i`m falling apart at the seams.
But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn`t hard,
But you promised you`d take care of me.
So I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And I`ll trust you,God, with where i am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
When my friends and my family have left me,
And I feel so ashamed and so cold.
Remind me that you take broken things
And turn them into beautiful.
So I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,
And believe that you`ll have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
Even if my dreams have died,
And even if i don`t survive,
I`ll still worship you with all my life.
My life.
Whoa-oh..
And I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,
And believe that you will have your way.
Just have your way.
Just have your way.
I know you will.
I won`t forget.
Whoa-oh
You love me.
Have your way.
Yeah
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