the birth mom canceled her appointment with us today, I felt sad, self-pity and wanted to crawl back into bed pull the covers up over my head and cry, but I did not.
I came down to put on my fb account what had happened.

(FYI)
The birth mom only canceled with us, because she is a teenager and wanted her mom to be there to support her, her mother could not get off work to be there, therefore we will be rescheduling.

So I was having this pity moment when Jamie said read the email from Tony today.
I went to look it up on my email and it was gone, so I emailed Tony and asked him to resend it.
this is the email

"Sowing In Tears
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman
02-09-2010

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." - Psalm 126:5

Psalm 126 describes an interesting process that goes against our natural tendencies when we are taken into a difficult period in our lives. Whenever we are hurled into a crisis that brings tears, our tendency is to retreat or recoil in fear and hurt. However, there is a better way that God tells us to handle such times of travail.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him" (Ps. 126:5-6). God is telling us that if we will do what is unnatural for us in these circumstances, He will make sure that what we sow in tears will return in joy. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned when faced with difficult circumstances. Rather than sit back and allow self-pity and discouragement to consume us, we should plant seed during this time. Reach out to a person who needs a friend. Invest in the life of another. See where you can be a blessing to someone. Give of yourself.

The psalmist acknowledges that we are doing this while we are in our pain. However, during this time we are to sow seed. That seed will return to us in another form. Here is what will happen when we do this. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." We will receive joy and fruit from the seed that we plant during this time. Sheaves represent the fruit of a harvest. We will actually get a harvest from this seed.

"You must not let the circumstances destroy you! Too many in the Kingdom are counting on you to come through this because of the calling on your life!" Those were the words spoken to me by a friend one time when I was in the midst of a very difficult business and personal circumstance that was threatening to destroy me emotionally. This person saw what God was doing and the fruit that God wanted to bring from these circumstances. Sometimes we need others around us to push us through the difficult times. If you find yourself in a difficult place today, see where you can sow some seed. Soon you will be reaping songs of joy. "

In Him,

Tony

OK, so I will!!!
Right now Im walking out of my house, I have two bags full of clothes and a tv with remote, I'm going to give them to the thrift store in Blue Springs, I'm going to smile the biggest smile, I'm going to sing praising to the King as loud as I can while traveling, I'm going to Libby's to share this word with other women....I will be reaping songs of Joy in my heart!