Friday, October 28, 2011

Did you ever think that God speaking could come in so many different ways?
When I see a beautiful sunset, I think him for the warmth of the sun, knowing he sent it to say good morning to me. Every time I see a rainbow I immediately think about his promise to Noah, that he will never flood the earth again. God speaks to us in so many different ways, we just have to be first, tuned into him and the Holy Spirit, and second not being so busy that we miss what he has sent us.
Everyday before I open my eyes, I tell the Lord to use me today. I ask him that I want to be the fruit at the end of the vine, shining for those who don't believe.
When I get to work I have a daily devotional that I do, usually just a page, I look up a few scriptures that are in the devotional. Throughout the day I try in my human way to stay connected to him,you know when you were younger and your mom told you to check in? She wanted you to call to make sure you were ok?. Back then we had to either be at someones house to call to check in , or have change for the $.35 it cost to use a pay phone. I think God is our Father asking us to do the same thing, best part no change and don't have to be at a friends house. We can call him up anytime and talk.
So yesterday when I awoke I said my same prayer as I rose out of bed, but since I was not at work I forgot to bring my devotional home. I did not even remember til God spoke to me this evening. I just went about my day running errands,cleaning the house, going to the store.
I did thank him when I went outside with the puppy, just thankful for the day with my kids and that I was not outside potty training this puppy in the SNOW! Other than that I was flying solo.
Well this is the part I get to tell you about God Speaking.
Jamie and Mason headed to his football practice and Marlie and I to the grocery store.
I was doing her WIC shopping. As a foster baby she gets WIC, all of our babies do. I think it's get that they help us out while caring for these little ones. I often say, she has felt like our own for so long, we should not qualify, but they just keep giving us the coupons. I also have mixed feelings when I go to the store to get these items. I know I can afford the foods, but you know you have judged someone with WIC, or maybe even felt sorry for them. They have to only get these certain items, they take a lot longer in line, cuz they have to scan every item sign for it...blah blah blah. I've seen a lady get all her WIC then buy with her own money beer and cigarettes. I judged her, why can't she put back that stuff and then she would have money to feed her own kids, right?
Well that was a long time ago and now I know who am I to judge her? Maybe her husband beats her, if she does not come home with those items? What if she has such a horrible life that a cigarette and a beer gets her through the day? I'm not her, I've never walked in her shoes, so now I just mind my own business!!
The looks you get while there is a long line behind you can feel like lasers in the back of your head. People are judging you most of the time. A lot of times I have Marlie and Mason who are great distractions, but sometimes not.
Well last night it was just Marlie and me (that's a book, right? LOL)
Marlie gets $6 worth of fruits and vegetables, if there is nothing fresh on sale I grab frozen, but a lot was on sale yesterday in the fresh section. So I have to use my math skills here, you can not go over the $6 for any reason. So I grab 2 pineapples which are $2 each, while standing there a lady comes up, she ask are these ripe. I said yes, they need to be eaten now, but I told her with my fruits and veggies that are going bad, I throw in my juicer and how much Marlie enjoys the juice from the juicer so much better that that store made stuff. She said, oh really, I have a juicer and have not used it in over a year. Thanks, you have motivated me to break it out and use it again. I encouraged her and told her how well I feel when I use it. We then separated and walked to different isles. I was then headed for the bananas, I can not just pick up a bundle, I have to weigh them and see how many I can get, well Marlie got 3 bananas. As I was weighing them a man with his little girl in the cart says to his little girl. Leila say hi to the little girl, speaking about Marlie. Marlie and Leila both were, hi, hi, hi , hi.....chatter chatter, who knows what they were saying. I then said, did you say her name was Leila? He said yes. I went on to tell him that name would always be special for us, for that was her name when she came into to our foster care. I told him we were adopting her and changed it to Marlie. He smiled and said that's a good name too. So not 5 minutes into my journey at the Price Chopper and I was about to cry, her name is Leila, they could have just walked on by and grabbed their bananas,but did not. God Speaking?, I think so.
Down every isle, my little wal mart greeter is saying, HI to every person she passes. If you did not hear her on the first HI,she gets louder and loUDER while waving now at you. HI HI (WAVE WAVE WAVE) All of them wave and day hi back while always smiling back at her, either a "how cute" or "she is so sweet". Maybe this time God is using her to brighten someone's day. Everyone she said hi to was not smiling til after she got their attention. Most of the trip was her waving, yelling HI, me making sure I got the right item on the list at the right weight, right brand, right everything.
We get over to the cheeses and there is Leila with her dad again. I said "Marlie look it's your friend Leila" she looks wave and says "Leila" or in her voice it was "Lay- wah"
We headed to the check out, where a young man checked us through while a older lady sacked our groceries. The man behind us in line immediately said "your little girl is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen" I said thanks and I was signing all the paperwork as he rang up our items. A conversation was taking place between the man behind me in line, the cashier and the lady sacking the groceries. From the man in line, they all came to find out that she was our foster baby and that we were adopting her. The cashier next to us said, oh really?
So the whole front of the store is talking about Marlie now. How we got her, how are we foster parents, how can we say goodbye to some of the babies.....ect ect ect.
The sacker tells us she lived in 4 foster homes, before someone took her in to adopt her. The cashier next to me says she got pregnant at 15 and thought about adoption, her little girl is now 2, she is working full time and going to school part time to care for her little girl. The cashier is just amazed by all the stories and ask, what makes someone want to do something like this?
I said, my husband and I really feel like this is what God has asked us to do, this is our gift. The sackers jaw dropped, he smiled in recognition and the man behind us says, well that just great.
The cashier next to us smiles and nods. I go on to tell them that we adopted our son on Dec 24th and she would be adopted on Dec 22. Marlie is still at this time, charming everyone around her. The man behind me says, well she sure is a special little girl then. I said yes and started to push my cart to the exit. I make it all the way to the car load the groceries and sit down to start the car, while my eyes fill with tears, I know that God was all around us in the store, using us to share God's love. He showed me in every step of the store how he was setting it up. So as I finish up this blog, read through the words to this song, it talks about how God speaking came come from any where. Love you all !!

Have you ever heard a love song
That set your spirit free
Have you ever watched a sunrise
And felt you could not breathe
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking
Have you ever cried a tear that
You could not explain
Have you ever met a stranger
That already knew your name
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us I love you

Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here
Do you know what it feels like
To be tangled up in fear
What if He's somehow involved
What if He's speaking through it all

His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger
Than God in a manger

God is speaking
I love you

Monday, October 17, 2011

Update on Marlie

Going through this the word says "that perseverance will bring character and integrity.”, not maybe the character God was hoping for....
We think that we are at the end of this journey, dfs told us we had just a few more forms to get filled out, a couple more visits and we even got a phone call from our lawyer that says we are on the court date for Nov 18th, to finalize this adoption!!
I know this is so 80's , but.............NOT!!
Jamie and I worked our tails off to get all the paper work signed. Marlie had to have a full health evaluation done. They wanted her to be seen for a well child check up as well as visit her neurologist to get a medical update. Well they gave us a whole 2 weeks to get this done, it is hard enough to get into a regular dr for a well check up, but they want us to see a neurologist "just because", sure I'm sure he will drop all his patience having seizures and with brain cancer to see us...again NOT. Her appt for them is November 30th.
I called her primary dr and told her that we were needing a dr note stating if they think she may be a medical baby or if she thinks she will be fine down the road. You see if they sign she is a medical baby, the state will provide us with any needs that may come arise in her near future, if they sign she is no longer a medical baby, they will not.
This dr said to come in and she would fill it out and sign it, she got us in her office in 3 days and sign the paper work the next day, thank you Dr Dean :)
Marlie has not been a patient of hers for long, so all she knows is by what she is seeing now, she said that Marlie is right on track for everything she needs to be doing, she even said her speech is 15 to 20 words above most children at that age, which we think is cute, cuz when she says funny things in her own way,it's hysterical. She says, tut shoes "cute shoes" and may men "amen", just sweet.
Anyways the dr signed for her to continue on the medical baby form, she not knowing what may come arise in her near future. This form is for 2 years, so after being evaluated after 2 years she can be taken off.
Dr.Dean says she does not want her to have the lable of a "drug exposed,fetal alcohol syndrome" if she does no longer have it. (now there is another miracle right there) I have a son who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and is fine, thanks to prayer, now I have a daughter who is has healed too....thank you Jesus for your mercy and answer to prayer.
So, this paper work is signed and at the dr office on Tuesday, I called dfs on Tuesday and also emailed our worker the same day. No response, called and emailed everyone I knew on Wed, no response, on Thursday I got an email from what I thought was our worker, she forwarded the email onto the new worker and that she was no longer on this case.....ahhhgggg.
This worker called me on Friday, this is the day all our paper work has to be submitted to the state!!!
She calls me, we meet in a gas station parking lot to sign papers, Jamie meets her at her office after getting off work to sign the rest. Then I get the call that about sends me through the roof, she calls and tells me that all the paper work was suppose to be in Jeff city this day, not just mailed...WHAT?????
Ok, well my part has been done and taking care of since Monday, it could have been there by now, if you would have called me back! So she makes a few phone calls and says it can be there no later than Tuesday.
She knows regular mail won't make it, I said ok, let's over night it, "well we can do that , she says, but I can't pay for that, they wont reimburse me". I said I will pay for it , I just want it there on time!!
So, I go to the post office, pay 20 bucks for a few pieces of paper to be shipped to  Jefferson City, when I hear what I can not believe. The worker tells me that they wanted a letter from the dr saying why they signed her as a medical baby. Did I hear her right? UMMM she signed it because you have been calling her a medical baby since she has been in dfs custody?, duh!
So no, there is not a letter from the dr in that packet. At this point, I'm about to explode, I let myself take over and not at all ask God for some help.  I was "ON" as my sweet husband puts it.
So, when I finally threw my hands up in the air, with "well it's sent so if it all gets sent back and we have to do it all over again, I guess that is what we will do, (insert a big sigh here)
I was driving in my car headed home when my "revolve" cd was playing and on came Britt Nicole. I have heard and sang this song a million times, but it was today that while I sang it I cried,asking God to forgive me for letting my earthly body mind and voice take over.  I will post the words below, but you won't get the true meaning unless you youtube it. Britt Nicole,"have it your way" I then right there, let it go. I surrender to the Lord this day, I sang to the Lord "have it your way" I know God has known the  date of her adoption forever, so why am I worrying about it? Well, today I can tell you I'm not. He has got this as he has had all the other things, I have fully given him.
So what is it today that you need to give to him?, give it to him fully.Give it to him fully, know he is closer to you than the air you breathe. He has got you and your situation in the palm of your hand and in HIS timing he will show up and bless your socks off.
In Him
Feels like i`ve been here forever,

Why can`t you just intervene?

Do you see the tears keep falling?

And i`m falling apart at the seams.

But you never said the road would be easy,

But you said that you would never leave.

And you never promised that this life wasn`t hard,

But you promised you`d take care of me.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And I`ll trust you,God, with where i am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

When my friends and my family have left me,

And I feel so ashamed and so cold.

Remind me that you take broken things

And turn them into beautiful.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,

And believe that you`ll have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

Even if my dreams have died,

And even if i don`t survive,

I`ll still worship you with all my life.

My life.


And I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

I know you will.

I won`t forget.


You love me.

Have your way.