Friday, May 20, 2011

I have two daily devotionals that I read every day, one was a gift from a friend and the other I picked up at a women of faith event.
Everyday I read them, its about a paragraph each and just gets my day started with God's word, some-days I just read them and ponder on what God is saying to me and other days, well it slaps me in the face.

Yesterday I was reading one and this is what it said.
"as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:8-9
I read it and thought, well yep I know that, opened the next devotional and read it, this is what it said......
the challenge for you today is to trust me and search for my way everyday, it also said that understanding my will and the future for my life is failure, We will ALWAYS fall short of God, only he knows the best for us, then ended with......."for my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
"For as the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so my higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"
So of course it caught my attention because two different books, that have nothing to do with one another, are saying the same verse on the same day, so I prayed about it asked God to use me as his vessel that day and to use the words he spoke to me in the day, well he didn't.
I was not upset I know Gods timing is always perfect and knew it would come someday.

Today was our meeting, its called a mediation meeting. The meeting is for us to decide and be asked if Peanut's mom can have any contact with her knowing that her rights are being taken away, you have to first know that the only time we have seen her Mother was in court, when she was mad and usually yelling the the court system and always defending herself.
So today, sitting at this table that was very small in a very small room, there was only Jamie and I, the mediator and her birth mom in the room, by conference call was the lawyer that speaks on Peanuts behalf and a supervisor also who was on by conference call.
I was not sure what to expect from mom, thought she would come in mad, but I just prayed the whole time as we sat waiting for her to come into the room, my prayer "Dear Heavenly Father, please give me the words and wisdom to speak, please Lord meet us here in this room , I give you my anxiety and worries right now, please let me be you right now, hide us behind your cross, let us love on this women as you do, break my heart Lord for what breaks yours, all of this for your Glory, Amen."
So we started the meeting with the 2 ladies on the phone telling the history of the Peanuts birth-mom , how she has done nothing that the courts have asked.
We said nothing, and mom was not angry, she seemed almost embarrassed.
Then we all began to talk about Peanuts future, the mediator asked her mom, what she wanted for her daughter, she said she wanted nothing but the best for her daughter, and she knows that she does not want her to have the life that she has had. She was afraid that if she had her in her care now, that the cycle would repeat itself and that she would never want that for her daughter. She told everyone in the room that she was thankful for Jamie and I, that she had nothing against us, she said she knows there is bad foster parents out there that do not care about the foster kids, and she can tell that we love her daughter.
Her birth mom asked us what we would say about her if she decided to let us adopt her, what would we say about her mom when she got older and asked , we told her that we would tell her that her mom her mom loved her so much that she did the best thing for her child and gave her up for adoption, knowing that we could give her a better life.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks and then mine as my heart broke for her, she was realizing this was the better choice, God was letting me feel what she was feeling, at first it was failure as a mother and now it was courage to do the right thing.
She said I don't know this family well, only seen them at the court hearings, but I can tell they will take care of her, then she looked deep into my eyes and asked, "please you won't let anything bad happen to her, will you?"
I told her that we already loved her as our own and I would protect her as best as I could.
The mediator at that time, asked her mom "are you saying that you would like to let them adopt her?" She began to cry and said "yes"
So of course I began to cry and then the mediator began to cry, she told us she was breaking all the rules letting herself cry too, birth mom had to excuse herself from the room for a moment to compose herself, Jamie and I just sat in the room in silence except for a few sniffles for the tears that would not stop coming.
This lady who for 16 months who has fought the system the whole way, is now willing to let us adopt her daughter, only God, only God!!!!
We all came back into the room the mediator asked how we could keep in contact, we said we would send photos and letters to her address. Mom agreed to that also.
We started to end the meeting and the mediator asked if we all had anything in closing to say, Jamie just looked at the birth mom and said thank you, I dug in my purse after the Lord told me to give her a photo of Peanut. I handed it to her, told her to keep this picture as encouragement to get clean, maybe the photo could be her inspiration.
She starred at it for a long time while crying.
I told her that I was proud of the choice she was making and that she was courageous, not a failure for making the choice she did today.
She looked at the mediator and said, if it's ok with the foster mom and you , can I hug her?
She replied yes and I almost ran to her with my arms open, just as Jesus would have, we hugged so tight as we both sobbed, for one mother letting go of her daughter and the other embracing her.
As we hugged I told her to focus on today, for tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own.
She said thank you, then as we we finished the hug, she said" you promise to take care of her?" I said "I promise"

God's ways are better than ours, his thoughts are better than our own.
I think sometimes God only gives us a glimpse of what he sees because, we could not handle this kind of grace all the time, we are human. He wants us to come to him in all circumstances, and not just the big stuff, but little too.

Won't you give God your "stuff?" he wants to mold into a beautiful tapestry."he promises' ;)"
Love you all,

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Ok, so this is not about adoption, but I guess if you are adopting you really have to pinch your pennies to do so, right?
This is my walgreens deal today.
I got
2 tylenol precise creams, $7.99 each = $15.98
2 lady speed stick deodorants, $2.39 each=$4.78
1 box 36 ct tampons,$7.99
total of =$28.75

I had 2 coupons from the Tylenol website for $5 off any one Tylenol precise product the walgreens coupons there was a $3 off coupon.
So I took 2 coupons books from walgreens, and used 2 coupons on one item,and 2 on the other making them FREE!
Then lady speed stick at Walgreen was buy one get one FREE, so I had 50 cent of coupons from the manufacture (which I have 2 of also), well since I'm buying 2 deodorants, they let me use both coupons, so I got $1.00 off one and the other one FREE, making my total so far $3.78 for all....then....
I got a 36 ct box of kotex tampons, I had a $3 off manufacturer coupon and walgreens has a $3 off coupon in their book, so that takes those from $7.99 to $1.99.
My total with out tax $5.78 :)
Just a fun way to save some money,
and of course like always with anything in my life, PRAISE JESUS!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Well it's Sunday night and things are still going strong here in the McCain household.
It's usually 8 when Peanut goes to bed, then 9 when Mason goes to bed, so we are still wrapping the evening up, but I knew if I did not blog now, you all would be waiting another day.
So I decided that right now is the time.
God spoke boldly this am, and that's when I like to sit down and blog, because it's fresh in my mind as well as my heart, but I was on time for church and I was afraid if I sat down and I would be late.
I hate being late anywhere, but I really hate being late for church, worship is one of my favorite times, I feel like it allows me to breath, accept his presence and then prepare myself for what he has to say.
Lots of you have asked about us moving, so here is the status on that....
We have felt for awhile now that God is asking us to move, we are not sure where or when but he has asked us, we really are not sure if God is asking us to do this and then we will still stay right here on Sweet Gum, but he is asking us to be obedient, and that is what we will be.
Our minds are thinking that maybe we will be moving to either, Blue Springs Mo (North side, Go Wildcats!!) or to Arlington Texas where Jamie has a job interview in July.
I know, I know, that's two WAY different places. So what we feel we need to do is put our house up for sale by owner for now, if someone buys it we will go from there.
God's word tells us to not to worry about tomorrow, for there is enough to focus on for today alone. It was affirmation today at church, for this is a verse was spoken by our pastor, today he spoke about being anxious and worrying. So please be praying for the purchase of our home, we are praying that the perfect family comes along and buys it.
We built this home and has lots of memories in it. From bringing Mason to it with nothing but cows in the backyard, then to becoming foster parents and caring for over 14 babies here. I rocked a lot of babies to sleep in that back bedroom and even said goodbye to one, who now lives with our heavenly Father.
I'm not looking back with sadness, but looking back with joy.
I'm looking forward for what the Lord has planned for us, for sure we are praying," Lord Order My Steps In Your Word!!!"
I read a devotion daily, and I love reading it then cross references it with the bible.
I love, love, love it, when I open the devotion or his word and God smacks me in the face with what he wants to tell me. Today in my devotion he told me this.
"You are in the path of My choosing. There is no randomness in your life. Here and now comprise the coordinates of you life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half lived. They avoid the present while worrying about the future or longing for a better time and a better place.They forget that they are creatures who are subjects to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.
Every moment is alive with my Glorious Presence to those who hearts are intimately connected with mine.
As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion of Me, you will simply have no to time for worry. Thus you are freed to let my spirit direct your steps (yes, order my steps!!)
this will enable you to walk along the path of Peace."
This all comes from Luke 12:25-26 & Luke 1:79
I read that, then I read it again, out loud, and with thankfulness that filled my heart. I then began to sing, order my steps in your word!! While Satan is busy God is REAL, order my steps in your word. This means Satan is busy trying to find his way in, by giving us negative thoughts about what we are doing, some people have even talked down to us about moving, or questioned us why, guess what?
I'm gunna let what you just said fly, let it roll off, when God has asked you to do something and you are doing it, you NEVER have to defend yourself, NEVER. I do not say any of this out of anger, don't try to ask yourself "did I say something?" It's not you, it's Satan and we have in the name of Jesus rebuked him from this situation. We ask many of you for your prayers, not your opinions and then we can watch God work.
I can't wait to see what he has planned and as hard as it is with my human brain trying to see where he is piecing it together, I will choose to focus on today and today only
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
Love you all

ps as I finish this I got a call from the foster parents we are doing respite care for next week.
They will be here friday and we will have both of them for one week. Ezekiel is 1 and Tina is 4 months, Tina was admitted to children's mercy tonight with a yucky cough, she is only 6 lbs at her age of 4 moths, she was born at 23 weeks, she is a miracle baby, please pray for her to get well, I can't wait to sing, pray and love on them while they are here :)